Archive for May 15th, 2008

How do you define yourself? Do you define yourself by what others think? By what others want? By what others believe? Or do you define yourself by what you know. What you feel and what you believe?


Defining ourselves is a life long process, one that is ever changing. We learn more, see more and experience more as we grow, and in doing so, we should always be defining ourselves.


Please note that I said defining ourselves and not re-defining ourselves. There is a big difference. In re-defining ourselves we are stating over, removing all definitions of our old self and starting new, adding in ne definitions of ourselves. Where as defining ours self involved add to and reshaping our current definitions, the difference is, is once again, big.


The process of continuously defining our self involves looking deep in to our past experiences and reliving them under the new definition; we need to relive what had defined us in the past, to help shape our new self. As we grow, and experience new life experiences, we need to re-examine how we will allow this event to shape our life.


To continually define ourselves is to continually examine life experiences in the new light, adding new life to old definitions.


We can not base our definition of self based on the definitions of others on us. Our life is ours to own, to take responsibility of it. We are the only ones who will be judged by our actions, not the others whom we based our self on.  The others definition of ourselves are definitions of one dimension, leaving out our personal experiences and our own ability to discern about our own definition.


The opinions of other are only one part, and my I say one small part, of the over all definition of ourselves. It is only one part of the overall puzzle of who we are, and should be given the correct amount of consideration in the total definition of you.


What is the correct amount of consideration, how much is to much and how little is not enough? This is a hard question, but in someway not hard. The view of others on me really should not matter, as long as we are true to self and happy with the self we have created, but having said that, I know that outside conditions do and should affect us. And the view of others on us is a major outside condition, if only because, we are tough as a society to concern ourselves with what the world thinks of us. So in some degree we are all affected by the current world currents. The challenge then comes in, how is the outside world, morality, faith compared to mine, where do we cross and where do we stand together, and how does it fit in to my over all definition of self.


The complexity of defining self is as deep and layered as any complex formula, but that does not make it an imposable task, nor does it make it a task to be avoided, but rather it is a task that we must attack head on.


Defining self is the most important task we have before us. Once again, only you will stand in judgment for whom you are, and what you have accomplished.


It may be worth your time to keep a journal of the definition of yourself, and as you continually define yourself, you can see the changes you have made, and what is a core definition, in other words, what has remained constant in your life.



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