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Archive for November 12th, 2008

Living Self

One of the reasons I love to travel is that I get the opertnity to meet eiht all my co-workers from around the world. It is the one time I get to get direct feedback on the books I write, and also allows for a conversation that is flowing freely. What a wounderful feeling that is. Sure the conversation is mostly about work stuff, but because it is live, and not email it allows for the personality of each to enter in to the conversation. I love it!

Because I have formed friendships with many of the trainers over the seas, they feel free to say what is on there minds. That is an important part of any friendship. Speaking ones mind allows others to always know where they stand and where you stand. Sure you have to be tactful, but you still need to speak what is one your mind.

Not all friends are that way, I know I am, for the most part. Sometimes I don’t speak my mind because it will serve no purpose, for them or myself, so why bother, other times I just don’t want to be bothered with it. But 9 times out of 10 I do say what is on my mind, regardless of what others may think.

Now I know some will say I should not do this, I could hurt others feelings, that is true, it is never my intention, but it happens. But in the long run I think it is much better my way than not. The friend knows where i stand, and if they are truly your friend, they should understand that you mean no harm, but often times the truth hurts.

Look at today’s youth, we (well most adults, not I) shelter them from the truth, if they suck at sports we tell them they are great, if they cant sing we tell them they should be on American Idol, how is that helping them? I know some will say we are helping them build up confidance in self, BULL! All we are doing is helping them build up a lie!

The truth hurst for a little bit, but a lie goes on and on…

So do i tell that child they suck, no thats harsh, but I can say something like, “Singing is not your strong point, why not try something else” or “You played hard today in the game, you gave it your best shot, good job” both are true not a lie, and in the long run both will help build up the child in a truthful way, making them stronger and more ready to deal with the read world, rather than one that places them up high.

Think about it, if we only say what people want to hear, what are we really doing to them? We are setting them up to fall, life is not that way. At work I hear lots of things I don’t like or want to hear, but such is life. I have to learn to deal with it and move on. I have a choice to make, use the infomation to improve myself or let it be. Either way it is up to me. If all my life I was told I did not wrong, I was great at everything and the world revolved around me, I at this moment in my life would not be sitting in the UK, I would be a failure. Life is nut fair, nor is it always just, but life can be truthful, or at least  part of it can be. We owe it to ourselves and others to always tell the truth. As the old saying goes, “The Truth Will Set You Free”… I know this to be true, once you accept the truth of yourself, you are free to be yourself, regardless of who others wish you to be.

Living the truth is hard, but the reward is great! So what is the reward you may ask… The reward is knowing that you are living true to self, and not to someone else. Will there be hard times, you bet, but so what!

Self is always better than other. I live true to who I am, like me or not, this is who I am!

Paul

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