Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘communication’

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

Permalink

Downtown Chicago

Image by Storm Crypt via Flickr

Over the part few days I have been working on a presentation that I have to give in Chicago in August. I am giving a presentation on Communication skills. But unlike normal communication presentations, I am looking at it from the point of view of three prongs of the same fork:

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

At this time it is more important than ever that people try to improve there skill sets. With more and more people out of jobs and less and less jobs available the difference between you and the other person could be as little as whom has taken more steps to improve there skill sets.

So what are skill sets, basically they are the little classes you take on Microsoft word, or how to navigate the web or even the soft skills like communication classes or seminars. These are the skill sets I am referring to, the soft skills, the personal development skill sets.

We can always learn something new, and we should always be in the process of learning. But in today’s job market it is imperative that we do so, we must have the upper hand on the others looking for that job. What makes us different than the other could be a simple as one online course. And yes there  are tons of free ones out there. Or it could be a seminar you attend, and yes there are free ones out there. But keep in mind you will need proof, so keep the event flyer and take good notes or even record it if you are allowed to. But even if no proof of attendance is offered list it and use it.

Look in your local papers, see what community groups or churches are offering, attend as many as you can and sigh up for the mailing list. In today’s market place many local groups are offering free interviewing classes or seminars on job hunting. Take them all, load up on the training and keep your mind active.

And if you are a training, and have a class that would be beneficial to others, consider offering it for free or low cost at your local church or community group, in this economically hard times, we all need to give a little.

I am offering my services, free of charge, to help others out, both here on my blog, but also live and in person. Why don’t you join me. What, you may ask, can you offer?

You say your not a public speaker, you have no useful talent to offer, hogwash I say!

We all have something to offer, maybe your good on the computer and can type fast, offer your services to type peoples resume’s and cover letters. Or maybe your a good sewer, offer to hem or fix someone’s interview outfit. Maybe you have a day care center, offer free day care for people going on interviews. We all have something to offer, even if its a listening ear, God gave us all gifts, and it is in times like these that we should share our gifts with others.

By the way, if you are interested in having me speak for your group please feel free to contact me at paul@staticplace.com , i would be happy to discuses the possibility with you.

 

Paul

Read Full Post »

Last night I had a intimate chat with my nephew, he is a 17 year old young man who originates from Cameroon Africa. He has only been in this country for a few years, and I have only known him for 1.5 years or so, well maybe closer to 2 years now, but what ever. In truth he is not my natural nephew, I knew his dad, not very well, through the church I am youth minister at. His son was in the youth group, and to make a long story short, to help him and his boy out, i let his son move in with me, so now he is my nephew. But back to that chat.

Last night at dinner he is usually very quiet, and does not offer up much information, not much more that a grunt or two. But some of that is typical teen age communication but with him it’s also a cultural thing, he was taught to be seen not heard. And that’s what he tries to do, over the last year or so I have worked very hard to get him to open up, to talk to me and other adults more freely. It’s been a hard road, but it has had it’s moments, like last night.

the topic of our conversation is of no real concern for the point of this blog, what is of concern is the importance of intimate conversation. We have gotten away from intimacy in general, our conversations are done via text messaging on our cell phones, one of the latest trends is to text your boy friend or girl friend that you are breaking up. My nephew asked a young lady out via a text message. I was not happy and told him so, to me, asking someone out is an intimate act and should be done face to face, or at least over the phone, voice to voice. The ability to text someone removes the direct contact, removes the personal touch. It makes it easer to have no investment in to the relationship. Sure there are times that texting is called for, or Instant Messaging (IMing) someone one. I IM people all the time, unless it is important, unless it calls for intimacy than it is a face to face contact.

The body often times speaks more that the voice, we can learn more for the language the body is using than the language the voice is using.  With text messages and such, all that is lost, we speak in bits and peaces, using icons to display emotions and words that haven’t even been added to any dictionary as of yet.

When I talk with my nephew I always make sure I can see him and that he is looking at me, often times he looks down or away, and misses the body language of the conversation. I try to explain the importance of looking someone in the eyes when you talk to them, but in this world of texting it seems to make no cense. I am sure he would rather just text me a reply and be done with it.

This all to often is what most teens, and now even adults would rather do. We are loosing the ability to have intimate conversations by allowing our youth to continue hiding behind there phones. As parents and care givers we have a responsibility to teach our children how to be intimate, and we do this by example, but forcing them to look at us when they talk to us, but explaining that texting does not replace face to face or voice to voice, that important things are not reduced to “OMG” (Oh my god) or other such abbreviations, and that a 🙂 does not truly equal a smile.

If we continue down this path we run the risk of living in a world of no intimacy, just a quick text and off we go. So last nights conversation was truly of no great importance except he did communicate with me, he looked at me and he smiles and responded with feeling in his voice. That is much more than a text message ever can be.

ttyl

Paul

Read Full Post »

Communication is the key to almost all of our inner and outer issues. If we fail to communicate our concerns, issues and needs, be it to others or ourselves, then how is it we expect others or ourselves to fill them?

Communication is the key.

Most of us are not comfortable communicating, we shy away from it, we find reasons not to do it, “They look busy” “I don’t want to bother them” “It’s nothing, really” and so on. The ability to trick our minds in to thinking our needs are of no great value is staggering. The lack of communication is deafening.

We are silencing ourselves in to epidemic proportions. We are a society that leans on no one and allows no one to lean on us. We, as a whole, do not communicate, we may disseminate the information, the feelings and issues, but we do not communicate them. We dump them, on ourselves or others and wait for the fix.

Communication is a two Way Street, the verbalization aspect is only one part, the listening to the words, feelings and emotions are the second and most important part. Communication cannot happen in a void, it cannot be a selfish act and it cannot be one-sided.

We most open ourselves up to be heard and to hear, regardless of who is doing the verbalization. The sender must be willing to hear their voice and the voice of the other, the receiver. They must be willing to open up and hear the words that they themselves are saying. They must feel the emotion and integrity of what is being communicated. And the receiver must open up and push aside any preconditions they have. They must hear in the words not only the intended speech but also the under speech, that which is not spoken but inferred.

Communication is an act of active participation on both parts; once again, it cannot be done in a void.

The same principle applies to self-communication; you must be able to play both the sender and receiver. To discern what you are saying and what is the under speech, what you are meaning.

Often times we speak in riddles, we dance around the issues, and we hide the true problem under several layers of non-issues. The ability to peel away the layers, to find the true issue in the job of the receiver and the sender, active participation is required by all parties involved in the communication process. It is a skill set that the human race as a whole needs to work on and one that I personally need to hone in on still. I study and practice and learn, in the hopes that one day I will be able to communicate with the best of them, Until than I will keep practicing.

Paul

Read Full Post »