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Posts Tagged ‘fathers’

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

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Daniel of St. Thomas Jenifer

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With the political session to start in full swing soon, I thought I would take the time to mention a few things. As any reader of this blog knows, I am a concretive both in my faith and

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Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

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Statue of Liberty National Monument, Ellis Isl...

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Yesterday was Fathers Day, so to all the dad’s Happy Fathers Day! The word dad is a lot larger than the 3 letters that make it up, the word dad encompasses a whole concept and radical idea, or at least in today’s world it seems radical. As of late the media has been hot and heavy on the idea of downplaying the rolls of dad’s in the family life. their have been several articles published about how the man is not a necessary part of family life, and some that have even gone so far as to state that the dad is a detriment to the family. Now I will admit that most have been written by anti-male femi-Nazi’s but still the media has taken and run with it. They have published the reports as if they came from

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Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

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calledtoministry This past weekend I spent my time reading and listing to Catholic radio. Of course I cleaned the house, did my wash and other such tasks, but I spent a lot of time sitting and reading. It was nice, I have not had a lot of time to do that, or should I say I have not made time to do that.

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

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{{ru|Зефир и Гиацинт, Аттический сосуд из Тарк...

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The scandal of the Church has been on the front pages of the papers and lead stories on the nightly news. Over all this is a good thing, the Church needs to deal with this scandal. But what confuses me is the pure joy they, meaning the media, seem to get from all this. The catholic priest who molested young boys need help and prayers for sure, the bishops who allowed this to carry on and moved them from parish to parish need to be reprimanded, they need to step down. But why al the joy in the media?

It is good that the media is investigating the scandal, or should I say it would be good if they were investigating the scandal fairly.  But that is not the case, they are on a witch hunt and they are willing to take down the innocent as well as the guilty, and at the same time look the other way when it comes to our school systems or other faiths. This to me is a misuse of power and an injustice to children.

The current scandal in the Church is a scandal from twenty or thirty or more years ago, by no means lessening the travesty of it all, the over all population of priest involved is 2% at most. Once again not taking anything away from the harm caused, 2% is way to much, .0001% is to much, but over all 2% of our priest is not a large number.

Such figures led her to contend "the physical sexual abuse of students in schools is likely more than 100 times the abuse by priests." (Source)

Family members — fathers, stepfathers, uncles, older siblings — commit 47% of all reported sexual assaults against children in their own homes.

49% of all sexual assaults against children are committed by persons known either by the child or the child’s family — teachers, coaches, physicians, ministers, priests,  neighbors, youth leaders. (Source)

I am not using the statistics to take the spot light off of the Catholic Church, but rather to point it also on public education and other areas of concern.

Over all the reporting on the scandal in the Church has been a scandal unto itself. And with the current wave of anti-Catholic feelings I expect it will continue for sometime to come. But we as Catholics can do something about we can fight back, promote the positive aspects of the Church, the good She does for youth and the community She resides in. We can also point out, in letters to the editors, the injustice of the persecution of the Church over our public schools.

In a way the abuse at the public schools is an even greater evil than the priest. We have no choice but to send our youth to school, and we allow teachers to have full access to our youth 8 hour per day, five days a week. And if they are involved in sports, we also allow them to change in front of grown adults. We, in some ways are asking for it,

The scandal involving the priest is sickening at best, but we hold some of that responsibility ourselves. We places the parish priest upon pedestals and made them gods in there own rights, we allowed our children to spend the night at the rectory or to go on trips with them. Sure some parents were good friends with the priest, and as the statistics above state 49% of abuse is by someone they know and trust. But do we have to allow the percentage to go up? Do we have to feed in to it?

The problem of abuse is a social problem and it is not a new problem, it is as old as time (article). The Greek society is full of stories of young boys and me, by no means justifying the actions, just pointing out the reality. The issue is social. Contrary to popular belief most people who sexually abuse youth are not gay. As stated above they are mostly family members or close family friends. 

[M]ost men who molest little boys are not gay.  Only 21 percent of the child molesters we studied who assault little boys were exclusively homosexual.  Nearly 80 percent of the men who molested little boys were heterosexual or bisexual, and most of these men were married and had children of their own.27

These scientists have concluded that pedophilia is a separate orientation from homosexuality and that the vast majority of molesters who target boys have either no interest in mature males or are heterosexual men who are attracted to the feminine characteristics of young boys.(source)

Homosexuality and homosexual pedophilia are not synonymous.  In fact, it may be that these two orientations are mutually exclusive, the reason being that the homosexual male is sexually attracted to masculine qualities whereas the heterosexual male is sexually attracted to feminine characteristics, and the sexually immature child’s qualities are more feminine than masculine. . . . The child offender who is attracted to and engaged in adult sexual relationships is heterosexual.  It appears, therefore, that the adult heterosexual male constitutes a greater sexual risk to underage children than does the adult homosexual male.19 .(source)

My over all point to this blog, we need to look at facts and we need to understand what we are dealing with. Sexual abuse of children is not a “Catholic” thing, nor is it a “gay” thing, it is a society thing and one that needs to be understood. The media is not doing its job, rather it is conduction a man hunt, if you will, on Catholics.

As Catholics we need to educate ourselves so we can better defend the Church in these times of turmoil. We need to know facts so we are not just shooting from the hip but rather using facts to fight our cause.  God willing the Church will survive and come out stringer when this persecution is over.

God Bless

Paul

Confronting Power and Sex in the Catholic Church
Galatians 2:20“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

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This is take from an online article in Time magazine…..

 

Time.com

  • By EBEN HARRELL Eben Harrell 29 mins ago

A professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts, Robert Feldman has spent most of his career studying the role deception plays in human relationships. His most recent book, The Liar in Your Life: How Lies Work and What They Tell Us About Ourselves, lays out in stark terms just how prevalent lying has become. He talked to TIME about why we all need a dose of honesty.

What are the main findings of your research?
Not only do we lie frequently, but we lie without even thinking about it. People lie while they are getting acquainted at an average of three times in a 10-minute period. Participants in my studies actually are not aware that they are lying that much until they watch videos of their interactions.

One of the reasons people get away with so much lying, your research suggests, is that we are all essentially dupes. Why do we believe so many lies?
This is what I call the liar’s advantage. We are not very good at detecting deception in other people. When we are trying to detect honesty, we look at the wrong kinds of nonverbal behaviors and we misinterpret them. The problem is that there is no direct correlation between someone’s nonverbal behavior and their honesty. "Shiftiness" could also be the result of being nervous, angry, distracted or sad. Even trained interrogators [aren’t] able to detect deception at [high] rates. You might as well flip a coin to determine if someone is being honest.

What’s more, a lot of the time we don’t want to detect lies in other people. We are unwilling to put forward the cognitive effort to suspect the veracity of statements, and we aren’t motivated to question people when they tell us things we want to hear. When we ask someone, "How are you doing?" and they say "fine," we really don’t want to know what their aches and pains are. So we take "fine" at face value. (Read a TIME story on ground rules for telling lies)

Do you feel deception is a particularly relevant topic to our society?
We are living in a time and culture in which it’s easier to lie than it has been in the past. The message that pervades society is that it’s okay to lie; you can get away with it. One of the things I found in my research is that when you confront people with their lies they very rarely display remorse. Lying is not seen as being morally reprehensible in any strong way.

You can make the assumption that because it often makes social interactions go more smoothly, lying is okay. But there is a cost to even seemingly benign lies. If people are always telling you that you look terrific and you did a great job on that presentation, there’s no way to have an accurate understanding of yourself. Lies put a smudge on an interaction, and if it’s easy to lie to people in minor ways it becomes easier to lie in bigger ways.

You say in the book that recent DNA evidence suggests that 10% of people have fathers other than the men they believe conceived them. So is lying pretty widespread in our intimate lives, too?
Research shows we lie less to people that we are close to. But when we do, they tend to be the bigger types of lies. And the fallout is greater if the deception is discovered.

You show how lying is a social skill. Does that mean it’s part of an evolutionary legacy?
I don’t think lying is genetically programmed. We learn to lie. We teach our kids to be effective liars by modeling deceitful behavior.

In your book you offer a way to cut back on lies. What’s the "AHA! Remedy?"
AHA! stands for active honesty assessment. We need to be aware of the possibility that people are lying to us, and we need to demand honesty in other people. Otherwise we will get a canned affirmation. At the same time, we have to demand honesty of ourselves. We have to be the kind of people who don’t tell white lies. We don’t have to be cruel and totally blunt, but we have to convey information honestly. The paradox here is that if you are 100% honest and blunt, you will not be a popular person. Honesty is the best policy. But it’s not a perfect policy.

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Here are the numbers:

  • 21 percent have learning disabilities
  • 7 times more likely to have ADHD
  • 65 percent graduate high school
  • 44 percent are undergrads in college
  • 42 percent are in graduate school
  • 10.3 percent seriously consider suicide
  • 4.6 percent attempt suicide
  • 27 percent are heavy drinkers
  • 30 percent use tobacco
  • 29 percent have carried a weapon
  • 1o percent under age 13 have had sex
  • 11 percent tried marijuana before age 13
  • 63 percent have had sex by the time they are high school seniors

 

What a list of numbers, what a shocking value and depending on what label I attach the the list will determine your reaction to the list. If I were to say that the list represents African-American’s we would be outraged, if it represented females we would scream sexism. If I were to tell you this was research from an third world nation we would say we expected this.

But if I tell you this is the numbers of our boy, here in America, most would just set it aside, think nothing more of it. Were is the outrage, were is the cry of unfair treatment. Lets look at some of the numbers again, using a comparison to girls here in America.

  • 72 percent of girls graduate from high school and only 65 percent of boys
  • 56 percent of undergraduates are girls and only 44 percent are boys
  • 24 percent of girls admit to drinking heavily as opposed to 27 percent of boy
  • 21 percent of girls use tobacco 30 percent boys
  • 4 percent of girls under age of 13 compared to 10 percent of boys under 13 have had sexual intercourse
  • 5 percent verses 11 percent of boys under the are of 13 tried marijuana

 

So I ask you one more time, were is the outraged, why are we not taking to the streets demanding that we save our boys. There are some who say, it’s about time, that girls have, for far to long, lived in the shadows of boys. And others that would say, someone has to win, why not the girls.

It saddens me to see our country like this, and trust me, there are a lot of things that make me sad about this county, but that is for another blog. This one is about the missing cry, the lost tear for our sons.

Have we gotten to a point in our evolution were boys are tossed to the sideline, all in the name of feminism? Have we gotten to the point in our history were we are willing to let one segment of our population got the sidelines? In some respects we have already gotten there, we have already created a class of citizens that are disposable. We have taught our sons and daughters that life is of no real value, that we can “terminate” life anytime we choose, so why are we surprised that we are willing, as a nation, to allow our boys to die a slow death.

America is a nation that is on the verge of a great change. We are standing at the edge of the cliff that will tumble us over the edge in to a future that will forever alter our great nation.

We just dint arrive here, we have been walking towards this cliff for years, taking very small steps. But as of late, our step has quickened, we are taking giant steps towards the edge. For the first time in our history we are about to step over the edge… to plunge in to the abyss…

The problem of our boys, the numbers above show that we as a nation have turned in to a nation of micro-issues. We grab on to “hot” issues and “fix” them, often times at the expense of others. We look at the single issue ignoring the multiple issues that are connected to it, that surround it.

To fix the fact that girls lagged behind in school, we tossed the boy to the side. We set up programs that directly hurt boys in the name of helping girls. We looked at the singular and not seeing the multiple.

Someone has to loose right? Someone needs to pay for the inequities we created, so why not our boys?

Look at the men we are creating, they use, to be boys, look around you, and ask yourself, why do we have families with out fathers, were did all the men go? I’ll tell you, we educated it out of them, all in the name of creating a fair and level playing field. Problem is, it was not fair nor was it level. We are not paying the price for it.

read the numbers above one more time, look at the percentages and ask yourself, were is the outrage?

Paul

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