Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘friend’

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

Permalink

Jesus is considered by scholars such as Weber ...

Image via Wikipedia

Below is a poll question from the Pew Research Center. I find the question interesting. Based on my conversations with most of my friends I am not sure I would get the same response, most of my friends with in the faith are liberals and they have a basic feeling that the

Read Full Post »

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

Permalink

The famous Droeshout portrait of William Shake...

Image via Wikipedia

I have had to write a few blogs on saying goodbye, I have had to say goodbye to both of my parents, to my grandparents and to a nephew along with my dog. Each of the goodbye’s offered me a lesson in life, and each, in there own way took a part of my

Read Full Post »

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

Permalink

altarboy2 Friday was a god day for me, I had time to catch up on some of my reading. I subscribe to 3 different Catholic newspapers and 3 different magazines, two Catholic and one political. The problem is time, when do I have time to read them all. Well Friday night I was able to slam through all the newspapers, than Saturday a new one arrived… UGH! But such is life.

Read Full Post »

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

Permalink

2316677591_6654e4ce6f With Mothers Day upon us, it is time to reflect on our mother, both earthly and those that are no longer with us. The other day I posted a blog about having parents, or better yet, the blog was tong in cheek about needing to prove I had parents on my

Read Full Post »

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

Permalink

Christians believe that Jesus is the mediator ...

Image via Wikipedia

As part of my job, my 9 to 5 job, the one that pays my bills, I get to travel the world. I love that aspect of my job, I love going to new places. Not only do I get to go to new places, I get to make new friends. I now have friends in five countries around the world and have traveled to seven different countries. So on this next trip I get to visit my friends I have not seen in over a year. It will be nice.

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

Permalink

Read Full Post »

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

Permalink

friend2 About a year or two ago a friend gave me a book to read. It sounded very interesting, it was a thriller and love story and mystery and supernatural all rolled into one. I don’t know the authors name, and the name of the book slips me at the moment, but that’s really not that important for what I have to tell you.

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

Permalink

Read Full Post »

Yesterday, I will admit it, I watched the services for the King of Pop… I had to see it for myself, and all in all , it was well done. But it does bring up some questions that we as a society must answer.

The media and fans and even some nonfans have turned Michael Jackson in to a saint a world peace maker a ambassador for race relations, and well the truth be told he was a troubled man with many issues.

I too think that he was a very gifted and multi talented person, and I agree that he brought happiness to the world through his gift. And yes he should be praised for this, but the out pouring of grief for this man, whom most of us did not know on a personal level is, well jest just say its a tad bit overboard.

King of Pop or not, Mr. Jackson had issues to deal with. In the limelight or not, he is human and should be held to the same standard as all others are help too. It seems that we often times forgive the sins of the famous with all to much ease. Lets look at a few of his:

  • Accused of child molestation
  • Drug use
  • Self hatred

I do not list them to be disrespectful, but to point out that MJ was not a saint, as most of us are not. That we must be willing to accept him as a whole being. He was not a monster as some would like to make him to be, but nor is he a saint as others would like us to believe, but what he was, was human, like all of us are.

To counter balance the short list of his sins, lets look at his humanity, he was:

  • A Son
  • A Brother
  • An Uncle
  • A friend
  • A Child of God’s
  • An Entertainer like no other
  • Listed in the Gunnies book of world records for the Pop Star to give the most to charity
  • and lets us not for get a Father

To be fair to him we need to list all his traits, good and bad, but we mustalways keep in mind that he, like us all, was human. Mr. Jackson was a frail little boy locked up in a mans body, the issues run deep with in his soul and in some ways we all have a little responsibility for this, we as fans place him up high, create a god of him than we abandon him in his hour of need, we play to his vulnerabilities to fulfill our needs, leaving him empty and spent. We treat our stats as our own personal play things and disregard them when we are done with them. Mr. Jackson, like all of us was given the gift of free will, he chose to do the drugs and other acts of self pity and hatred, but lest us not forget that we all, in someway, enabled him to do so.

You may not be a Jackson fan, so you may be saying, “Not Me”, but I would say to that, “Yes You” because if you did not do it for Mr. Jackson you did it for some other star. Indirectly we all all played a roll in this, in someway we all enabled him, in some way we all can take a small bit of reasonability for his demise just like in some way we all can take a bit of responsibility for his rise to stardom.

 

RIP Michael… May God Bless your soul…

Paul

Read Full Post »

This was sent to me from a friend in India, not sure who the original author is, he never stated it… But I thought I would share it…

Positive words.bmpI remember my dad teaching me the power of language  at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success. 

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn’t realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy’s mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad’s voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy’s mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don’t fall!" And Tammy did. fall.     

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined.

Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly. This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can’t visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that.

For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn’t get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don’t drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.     

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn’t. I’ll never make it pro, but I’m now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.           

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren’t paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.   

The point is made.         

If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won’t. Either they will be at the party or they won’t. I’m brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try.

Do they think I don’t know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I’ll try" come out of my mouth unless I’m teaching this concept in a seminar. 

If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can’t make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I’m not sure if I will be at your party or not. I’ve got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."             

People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary. My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.           

These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.         

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, " I’m fat. Nobody will like me. I’ll try this diet. I’m not good enough. I’m so stupid. I’m broke, etc. etc."   

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.   

Notice when you or other people use them. 

But: Negates any words that are stated before it.               

Try: Presupposes failure.     

If: Presupposes that you may not.   

Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.

Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen.

Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen (and implies guilt.)         

Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.             

Can’t/Don’t: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.       

Examples:           

Toxic phrase: "Don’t drop the ball!"   

Likely result: Drops the ball     

Better language: "Catch the ball!"   

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn’t watch so much television."             

Likely result: Watches more television.   

Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"   

Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself

using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

Read Full Post »

So why haven’t you changed yet?

Excuses about age, time, money, and every other item we throw into the mix to help us feel better about putting our dreams on hold will end up killing our hopes for a happy and fulfilling life.

We can create ten thousand reasons not to do something, and ignore the one reason why we should. Often times that’s what it comes down to, I know for me I use ten thousand and one reasons why I don’t work out, No time, I forgot, I need this, Ill start tomorrow, and on and on the list goes, and each day it is getting harder and harder to do. And one day, if I wait long enough, it will be true, I wont be able to work out, I be dead.

We each have that one area we need to work on, and most of us have the excuses why we don’t memorized. It’s a sad state… each day I tell myself, today I will start to use the treadmill again, pr today I will walk the dogs, today I will lift the weighs and go on that diet, but today never seems to come, because I am always finding excuses.

Excuses are easy to come by, any old one will work really, from the creative to the everyday. It truly don’t matter as long as you have one. If you don’t I am sure a friend will give you one, there cheep to get.

The excuses we use often times come with a free gift, the gift of believing. If we use the excuse often enough we will believe the excuse. It’s a rather remarkable thing really. You see if I tell myself enough that I will start tomorrow, knowing full well I wont, but after time, well I start to think I truly will start tomorrow. Problem is, tomorrow never comes…

So why haven’t you changed yet? What poor excuse have you used?

  • It’s hard
  • I will, but not yet, I need to do _____(fill-in the blank)
  • I am waiting for this or that
  • I was going to start today, but this happened
  • Well I figured I needed to wait until this, then I needed to do that, and once this comes in the mail, and the moon if full, I will start, I promise!

And the list can go on and on…

So what is it you need to do?

  • move
  • go back to school
  • clean out the attic
  • work out
  • quit smoking
  • diet
  • return to Church
  • find yourself

What ever the task, what ever the goal you need to start today, no excuses, one small step, is a step in the right direction. As for me, a friend and I are to start walking at lunch time today. Not much, but a small step in the right direction.

Paul

Read Full Post »

We all have issues we need to work on, we all can be a better us, but its sometimes hard to know where to start.

Sometimes the best place to start is with the small things, like for me it would be contacting my friends more. I am horrible at that, I think about calling them, and just never do, or I tell myself I will e-mail them and never get around to it. And when I do it’s a mad blitz to everyone I know, I e-mail and phone people all day long. Not a very productive way to do it.

It’s a small thing, because most of my friends are the same way, so it’s not like I get phone calls and e-mails daily or even weekly from most of my friends. I have a few who do, and they are the ones who keep reminding me what a bad friend i am.

So this one little small thing, contacting my friends more often, how would that change my life, make me a better me?

That’s an easy one, by being a better friend I will feel better about myself and that will be reflected in all I do. But what about all the other simple, small changes we all can make?

Make a list of the small things in your life you would like to change, to do differently. Such as:

  • Write one letter a week to someone in the family
  • Keep fresh flowers in the house at all times
  • Cook one fancy meal a week
  • Donate time and talent to a charity once a month
  • Have a family night once a week

The list can go on, add your ideas in the comment field if you like…

The idea is to pick something that seems like it will have no great affect on you, but in truth any positive thing you do will change you for the better, so start your list today, and pick one. As for me, I think I will call a few friends…

Paul

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »