Posts Tagged ‘hard’

"The last of the human freedoms is to choose your attitude in any given set of circumstances." -Victor Frankl


For anyone who has ever read this blog or my other blog, you know that freedom is a major theme for me. Often times I use the word Authentic Freedom because we all to often mix up what we believe is freedom to what freedom really is. Well I think Mr. Frankl got it right!

Freedom is a slippery thing and has many sides, but we still are the masters of it and we decide how we choose to use or abuse it or is some cases how we neglect it or abandon it. 

I have long been a believer in the you make your own destiny, we choose to react to situations in a way that will give us the outcome we desire. I have seen two people process the same information yet each will tell you a completely different story and will react to it in an almost predictable way. A negative person will always find the bad, the down in any situation and they will project that feeling in to the situation causing it to be a negative feeling or outcome. Were as a positive person will take a negative and turn it in to a positive, they will find the positive in any situation and project that emotion in to the situation causing a more positive outcome. It truly is in our control, I myself have seen it and have participated in it,as have we all.

So what makes one positive and one negative? Why would one choose to be negative? Well there are many reasons or theories:

  • Genetics
  • Hard wiring in the mind
  • Life experiences
  • Attention
  • Born that way
  • Just want to be

All are valid and I thing in some small ways all are true and all play a roll in it. And the same can be said for the positive person, all the same valid reasons are just as true for the positive person, what I think it comes down to is this. I choose to be positive or negative because from being one over the other I gain greater joy, greater pleaser. Yes the negative person gains joy from there negatives. If they did not they would not be negative. Just like a smoker gains pleasure from smoking, a negative person gains please from the negativeness of there life. They create it and nurture it, so they must enjoy it. Now some may be saying well that’s just silly, no one would choose to be negative, but really is it that silly of a concept? People choose to be whipped and chained up for sexual pleasure, and most of us would have to say that, that doesn’t sound like pleasure to us. But to them it is, to them it is a great pleasure the pain turns them on. If this is so, than it stands to reason that a negative person must gain pleasure from there negativeness or they would not be negative.

It is our choosing, our freedom to choose our response to anyone given situation. This freedom to determine our reaction is one of the greatest freedoms we have, it truly is an authentic freedom. We read about people in horrific situations, Nazi concentration camps, torture chambers and such, yet we also hear of the love they felt or offered or the sacrifice they gave and the positive out look on life they still maintained.

The film “I am David” is a perfect example of how our outlook on situations will determine the outcome of the situation. It tells the story of a young boy who, with the help of a prison guard, escapes from a concentration camp in Eastern Europe, and of his journey to Denmark. Along the way he meets interesting people and has many adventures. In this movie David has a very negative outlook on life, with valid reasons, and yet he is met with some very positive opportunities that turn negative, based on his projection unto them. In the film David grows, and as he does, his negativeness changes in to a more positiveness, causing the events in his life to become more positive. Yes I know its a film, but the concept is the same.

We control our outcome, we determine the reaction we choose to give to any given situation. Life is full of opportunities to see good or evil, positive or negative it’s in our power to see it as we please, it is our last freedom, one that no one can take form us.


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Living Self

One of the reasons I love to travel is that I get the opertnity to meet eiht all my co-workers from around the world. It is the one time I get to get direct feedback on the books I write, and also allows for a conversation that is flowing freely. What a wounderful feeling that is. Sure the conversation is mostly about work stuff, but because it is live, and not email it allows for the personality of each to enter in to the conversation. I love it!

Because I have formed friendships with many of the trainers over the seas, they feel free to say what is on there minds. That is an important part of any friendship. Speaking ones mind allows others to always know where they stand and where you stand. Sure you have to be tactful, but you still need to speak what is one your mind.

Not all friends are that way, I know I am, for the most part. Sometimes I don’t speak my mind because it will serve no purpose, for them or myself, so why bother, other times I just don’t want to be bothered with it. But 9 times out of 10 I do say what is on my mind, regardless of what others may think.

Now I know some will say I should not do this, I could hurt others feelings, that is true, it is never my intention, but it happens. But in the long run I think it is much better my way than not. The friend knows where i stand, and if they are truly your friend, they should understand that you mean no harm, but often times the truth hurts.

Look at today’s youth, we (well most adults, not I) shelter them from the truth, if they suck at sports we tell them they are great, if they cant sing we tell them they should be on American Idol, how is that helping them? I know some will say we are helping them build up confidance in self, BULL! All we are doing is helping them build up a lie!

The truth hurst for a little bit, but a lie goes on and on…

So do i tell that child they suck, no thats harsh, but I can say something like, “Singing is not your strong point, why not try something else” or “You played hard today in the game, you gave it your best shot, good job” both are true not a lie, and in the long run both will help build up the child in a truthful way, making them stronger and more ready to deal with the read world, rather than one that places them up high.

Think about it, if we only say what people want to hear, what are we really doing to them? We are setting them up to fall, life is not that way. At work I hear lots of things I don’t like or want to hear, but such is life. I have to learn to deal with it and move on. I have a choice to make, use the infomation to improve myself or let it be. Either way it is up to me. If all my life I was told I did not wrong, I was great at everything and the world revolved around me, I at this moment in my life would not be sitting in the UK, I would be a failure. Life is nut fair, nor is it always just, but life can be truthful, or at least  part of it can be. We owe it to ourselves and others to always tell the truth. As the old saying goes, “The Truth Will Set You Free”… I know this to be true, once you accept the truth of yourself, you are free to be yourself, regardless of who others wish you to be.

Living the truth is hard, but the reward is great! So what is the reward you may ask… The reward is knowing that you are living true to self, and not to someone else. Will there be hard times, you bet, but so what!

Self is always better than other. I live true to who I am, like me or not, this is who I am!


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  1. Can I really be happy in a world that is so messed up?
  2. Can I really change in a world that expects me to act a certain way?
  3. Can I really work hard and enjoy life?
  4. Can things really be a simple as some say and as difficult as others believe?
  5. Can mind over matter really make me a better person?
  6. Can positive thing positively make me change?
  7. Can I work on change, but still be the same?
  8. Can reading self-help books and blogs really make a difference?
  9. Can one deep breath really cleanse me of all bad feelings and emotions?
  10. Can I really change?


The ten questions can all be answered with one word YES! Yes you can change just because you want to, in a world gone bad (and really it has not gone bad), and yes you can use mind over matter, and yes reading my blog can help…


Change is a state of mind; it is a condition of the heart. Nothing is beyond our reach; all we have to do is stretch ourselves…


Life truly is what you make of it, and I believe that with my whole being, it is my essence, and my mantra of life.


So start today, and make life what you want it to be, just keep in mind, that others are doing the same, so we have to allow our beingness to interact with there beingness.



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It’s hard sometimes to think of new things to write about, I have two blogs and I make it a point to post to each of them everyday, well now I don’t post of the weekends, because I need a little break from that, to do the other obligations I have.


And some days I really don’t know what to blog about, but I still do it, I create something, it may be crap, but I still create it and post it. I think it’s an important process for me, to post daily, even when I don’t want to, I keeps my mind sharp, I know I have to come up with something, and it helps me sharpen my skills. Writing in not one of my favorite things to do; I like to be creative, to write just for me, but to write for others, to post it to a blog, so anyone can see it…now that’s a different thing. If it was giving a talk everyday, that would be no problem, I love to talk, to teach and to give speeches, but writing… Not my favorite thing.


But part of growing is doing things you don’t want to do, to force that habit, and to make it stick, to push the sides of the box you have placed yourself in, and to break out of it, expand your horizons and seek new directions. To make yourself new, you need to be willing to do what it is you don’t like to do, and for me its writing.


So I do practice what I teach, I believe in what I write, and hope others do too. I hope my craft of writing has improved, and I hope it will continue to enlighten me in ways I never thought it would, and I hope it does the same for you.



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