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Posts Tagged ‘heart’

Working off of yesterdays blog about how we treat boys in this nation, I thought I would dive in to the problem a little more.

If we look at the boys being raised, how we as a society send such a mixed message to them, how parents want to raise soft and tender boy, boys with a heart. We want to raise boys as if they are not boys, we want to remove the boyness from boys.

The whole “pop” psychology thing of being in touch with your feelings and the how does that make you feel questioning of boys has, effectively, removed boyhood from boys. We have created a whole generation of boys that truly do not know how to be boys. Look around you, look at what our so called boys are doing.

One of the true signs that we have ventured to far off course is the simple fact The Pocket Dangerous Book for Boys: Things to Do By Conn Iggulden, Hal Igguldenthat we even have to talk about how boys should act. Look in the book stores, there are tons of books for parents on how to raise your boys and there is even a book for boys on how to be a boy…. Come on! Now I am not the most athletic person, truth be told, I really only like Baseball, and that passion only runs so deep in me. I sucked at playing sports as a boy, but, and I repeat, but no one had to tell me how to act as a boy, I was able to figure that all out on my own, thank you very much! Now some will say that i did not do a very good job at it, that my adventure as a boy lacked in some areas, and that would most likely be true. But I stand by the fact that I did not need a book nor did my parents need a book to tell me how to act as a boy, it was instinctive to me, my parents did not try to raise me any other way, they did not try to make me sensitive (I was by nature) nor did they try to make me sporty, they let me grow up who I was and treaded me as a boy.

What’s that mean, treaded me as a boy…

I was encouraged to play out side, to get messy to climb trees to make forts to play cops and robbers to use my imagination to create exciting new worlds for me to explore, to get holes in my jeans and to do all the other things that boys do. Being a boy  is an adventure in misadventures, it’s being allowed to fall and being told to get back up again and do it all over, and if you fall again, well that’s life. It being allowed to make mistakes and to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, to learn from experience that you just don’t say that to little girls.

Creating new worlds with only a stick from the big oak tree in your back yard and your imagination, that is boyhood at it’s best, play dates and structured time (or at least to much of it) is in opposition to boyhood, it removes the opportunity for spontaneity of a boy, creating a programmable boy and not a living boy.

What have we done to our boys? How did we get to this point? All in the name of woman’s liberation, in our efforts to create equality we have dummied  downed our boys, stripped them of boyness to create a non-gender rather than celebrating the two unique genders we have.

We need to get back to the basics, boys are boys and girls are girls, that’s all there is to it. We are different, one is not better than the other, just different from each other. Now here is were I will get in trouble, but such is life. There are something’s that boys do better than girls and girls do better than boys. There are some actions that are all boy and some that are all girl. That’s just the way it is, sorry but we are not the same, we are equal in the fact that we are humans, that we are created by God, but our equality does not translate in to sameness, we are not the same, we are two different creations with two very different and distinct callings and skill sets. It’s just nature, a fact of life, try as we may (and have over that last 40 years) we cannot make boys in to girls, nor girls in to boy. We are separate genders and we can not make a new non-gender to fit our own selfish needs.

It’s time we accept the fact that boys are boys and girls are girls…

Paul

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The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life.
    One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education.
    He argued, ‘What’s a kid going to learn from someone who decided
His best option in life was to become a teacher?’
    He reminded the other dinner guests what they say about
Teachers:
    ‘Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.’
    To emphasize his point he said to another guest; ‘You’re a
Teacher, Bonnie..
   Be honest. What do you make?’
    Bonnie, who had a reputation for honesty and frankness replied,
     ‘You want to know what I make?
    (She paused for a second, then began…)
    ‘Well, I make kids work harder than they ever thought they
Could.
    I make a C+ feel like the Congressional Medal of Honor.
    I make kids sit through 40 minutes of class time when their
Parents can’t make them sit for 5 without an I Pod, Game Cube or movie rental.
    "You want to know what I make." (She paused again and looked at
Each and every person at the table.)
    ”I make kids wonder…
    I make them question.
    I make them apologize and mean it.
    I make them have respect and take responsibility for their
Actions.
    I teach them to write and then I make them write..
    Keyboarding isn’t everything.
    I make them read, read, read.
    I make them show all their work in math.. They use their
    God-given brain,not the man-made calculator.
    I make my students from other countries learn everything they
Need to know in English while preserving their unique cultural identity.
    I make my classroom a place where all my students feel safe..
    I make my students stand, placing their hand over their heart to say the
    Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag, One Nation Under God, because we live in
The United States of America .
    I make them understand that if they use the gifts they were
Given, work hard, and follow their hearts, they can succeed in life.’
    (Bonnie paused one last time, then continued.)
    ‘Then, when people try to judge me by what I make, with me knowing money
Isn’t everything, I can hold my head up high and pay no attention because
They are ignorant… You want to know what I make?
I MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
What do you make Mr. CEO?’
His jaw dropped, he went silent.

 

Me, I am a teacher, in my daily job an din all I do. I have always practice the concept of using every moment as a teaching moment. Now please don’t get me wrong, I don’t quiz or question the youth about everything we do, I don’t spend time looking for the hidden teaching moment, but I approach all I do as a moment to teach and to learn.

I do make a difference because I choose to, If I was that Mr. CEO in the story above, I could have held my head high and stated that I to teach, but also if I was that Mr. CEO I would have never equated money with usefulness, I understand that the two do not go together.

Can you say you teach, for that sake of our children and of this nation I pray that you respond with a yes.

Paul

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Today I am going to ask you a question, and it is my hope that you will leave a response here on this blog. Often times the act of writing something down allows our mind to leave it, to rest in it or to be a peace with it. Today’s question is concerning others, but is deeply rooted in your soul.

We often times define ourselves based on the actions of others. We give ourselves value or diminish our value based on the ones we surround ourselves with. This question is going to ask you to look deep with in, and to place your heart and soul out in the open for all to see. This is a risk for most and an everyday occurrence for others. Some of us naturally “wear our hearts on our sleeves”, but this question, this exercise is different, I am not going to ask you to state something personal about you, directly, but rather to look at others in your life, now or in the past, and to place your heart out for them.

Take your time, think deeply on this question, and than respond.

 

Who in your life should be acknowledged more?

 

It seems like a simple question, a one or two word response and your on your way, but that’s not what the question is calling for, what its calling for is a deeper response, one that calls for the emotion of the soul to be heard.  Use this space to acknowledge them, offer them your praise and empty bear your soul to them.

Paul

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Today I heard my heart song, literally. I had a doctor’s appointment, and they listened to my heart using an ECO Cardio thing… Very scientific name… And I heard my heart; I heard the music I make every day.

 As I laid there listing to my heart my mind drifted to something Dr. Wayne Dyer said in one of his talks and has written in his books, he likes to say “Don’t die with the music still in you”. I have never really given it much thought prior to today. I have always thought it to be a nice saying, something that sounded very profound, but not really. That is until today.

Today I discovered that their truly is music in me, I have a rhythm and a beat. There is an orchestra playing inside of me… I have songs of love and loss written on my soul, and the melodies of life racing through my veins. The backbeat of sorrow is over played by the upbeat of joy and the symphony of tomorrow is playing today.

What I am trying to say is that my life, my being is my heart song, and I am performing it daily, moment by moment. My existence in this world has add a new note to the Oratorio of life, and each fading note leads in to a new one, with the change in tempo and pitch live rushes on to the end, and all of humanity has added to the score. Each note is written, every movement is recorded as the record of humanity is played out once more.

So as Dr. Wayne Dyer states, “Don’t die with your music still in you”, learn to play it, sing it and enjoy it. Use it to create a better song for all of humanity and leave this world a little better than you found it.

Paul

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I have friends and family members that are of the belief that their actions affect no one that they live in a bubble; their actions are there’s alone. What a sad way to live life. If you ask me, that is not even living. Our lives are made to connect to others, to interact with humanity, and to live one’s life as if you are an island unto yourself is not living, but rather dieing unto yourself.

The Human condition is a complex condition, one with many levels and deep interlocking connections. Your ability to manage this complex force will also determine your ability to navigate through life. Some people seemed better prepared for this task as others seem to fail and falter at every one of life’s twist and turns. Their ability to bend and move seems to be limited to a very small box or space; some will argue that the box or space is based on their upbringing, or the current environment they find themselves in. Others will argue that it is out of their control, that outside forces are dictating their actions. And some will say it’s just plain old bad luck.

I know people that fit all three types, and I know some who just don’t care, no reason for their life, and really don’t care. To me all of them have chosen their path. And all of them have chosen the wrong one.

Life is what you make of it, regardless of your upbringing, your luck or any other outside influence. The only person from above who truly understands their life is the one who states “I just don’t care”. That is the only true and honest response to why their life is a mess.

Now I know some will be saying, now wait, what about all the people that where abused and children, or grew up poor or had a bad hair day… and so on. And I respond, that truly is sad, and my heart goes out to them, but that is life. As youth we have no to very little control over our lives, and yes, we do use our life experiences to help us shape our future. And that is the key; we use it to help us shape our lives, not the other way around. Our life experiences do not shape us; we use them to help us. How he chooses to process that information is still up to us. I have read many books of children who have suffered unthinkable abuses, and have chosen to use that life of living hell as a reason to better themselves, to make this world a little brighter, for themselves and others. I have also heard stories of the opposite, kids from happy and healthy families, which decided to process the information for the negative, to harm all they can include themselves.

I have experienced both reactions with my family and friends. I have seen the effects of taking responsibility and the effects of blame. I have witnessed the growth and distraction of the human spirit, and I have seen the spirit of life diminish and grow with in that person. The connections between the two are directly related. Ones level of spirit, ones level of life, is related to their outlook on life itself.

The path we choose to live is our own choice, it is our freewill that determines our life, it saddens me to see people who are not willing to accept the responsibility of life. It breaks my heart to see a life wasted on the “what could have been’s” and the “what is was”. We all make choices, we all have the ability to move forward, stand still or move backwards. No magical force will move us, no history determines our path and no future is determined. The game of life is not a toss of the dice, but rather a thought out process of growth.

Paul

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Trust is probably one of the most important words… It’s a word we use to define a person, it’s used to help us navigate life and trust is used to give value to things.

 

We use the word trust a lot, and often we say it with out really thinking about it or with out any real meaning, we just trust that the person we are speaking to understands us.

 

That’s the thing about trust, we give it so freely, and we offer it with out condition. Trust is a gift that we keep on giving, even when we know it’s not deserved. We trust in the other, we hope for the best, and sometimes our trust is broken.

 

We place our trust is people, institutions such as the government or the church we even place our trust in objects such as guns or computers, but all to often we fail to place our trust in ourselves.

 

We are too quick to trust someone unknown to us, and not trust in self, we defend the unknown but fail to defend ourselves, and we allow our own insecurities get in the way. We all too often break our own trust, we allow ourselves to underachieve to see ourselves as not worthy of our own trust.

 

Stop to take the time to re-evaluate how and who you trust, compare the attributes of each, are our trust equally given, do the circumstances change how we give our trust, do we give it to freely or do we keep it all and give it to no one, including ourselves. To we allow the gift to be squandered or horded?

 

Look at the criteria you use, do you allow the same criteria to define trust for yourself as you do for others?

 

The gift of trust should be given freely, but it should also have attached to it a very high standard, and that standard should be common for you and for all others. (For the most part, there are always exceptions to the rule)

 

I trust that you will take to heart what is written here, and I trust that it will transform you… It is the same trust I place in myself, and the same trust I offer to others…

 

Paul

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Ralph Waldo Emerson: Hope Quotations
We judge a man’s wisdom by his hope.

Mr. Emerson hits it on the head, do we think of a person who is done on hope as wise? I think not, but rather the one full of hope must know more then I.

Hope is sometimes all we have, it is the last resort for many, and sometimes is the only resort, we use hope to bridge the gape between the known and unknown.

Hope is the great inspiration, it frees our thought and our heart, it opens the doors of opportunity. Hope springs eternal.

 

Paul

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