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Posts Tagged ‘lost’

Well it happens, every now and than days come along that just allow you to rest, to refuel, and that’s what Sunday was for me, a day to rest. Saturday I was up early and spent the morning at a conference, than Saturday afternoon I puttzed on the computer and around the house, didn’t do much, but never felt relaxed. But Sunday, after church I found that grove, the one that allows you to relax and to enjoy the day just as it is. So that’s what I did. I say by my pond, read some newspapers, finished a book and read some other books I have going (I like to read 3 or 4 books at one time).

It was a perfect day in all regards here in Michigan, the sun was out there was a slight breeze and a calm in the air that held me captive. It was a wonderful thing! It was a day that allowed you to get lost in it, no that’s not it, allowed doesn’t really give the day justice, it was more of a beckoning kind of day.This day beckoned me, called to my soul and begged me to get lost in her rays of sunshine and her cool breeze that tantalized me and engulfed me.

Days like that are perfection, they allow the soul to rest in the perfection of nature and in the kindness of God. The resting of the soul is paramount to a body in harmony with creation and the creator, it is this harmony that allows the creative process to flow.

The ability to get lost in the day is the ability to allow the natural energy of creation to take over, to fill you with the radiance of God and His loving and healing embrace. This ability is a natural ability, but modern man, in all his greatness, has lost this ability. It is now an ability that is lost, one that use to come natural now needs to be taught.

As we have created a more productive society, we have also created a more detached society. Detached from family, from each other and our neighbors. But more importantly we are detached from creation, and from the creator, God himself. This detached state draws energy from us, causing us to wear our, for our souls to get exhausted and for us to become less than what we are. The ability to rest in the Lord is the ability to find peace of soul.

Often times we are told that we must find peace of mind, to allow our minds to gather energy and rest, to place behind us the unpleasant realities of the modern world. Well I would challenge you that it’s not peace of mind that we need, but more likely peace of soul. We need to once again connect with the Lord on a level of intimacy that is currently unknown to us. We need to allow the Spirit of God to consume us, to fill us and to over flow from with in us.

The quiet of the heart leads to the pleasure of the soul…

Paul

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My mind is in a fog today, it seems to be wrapped up in a thick blanket of fog, and the more I struggle to get out of it, the thicker it gets. It was that way yesterday also, everyone keeps telling me it’s the weather, and it may be. But whatever it is, it needs to go away.  I hate this feeling, the feeling of being lost in your own home. It drives me crazy!

Being lost is one thing, but being lost in your own home that is a scary feeling. When I was younger, and I mean years ago when I was like 7 years old one of the scariest dreams I would have involved this feeling of lost in your own home. The dream was always the same, I would be away from home, where ever it didn’t matter but when I returned home, no one was there, they all moved out. Nothing was left, the house was empty. I was lost in my own home… I use to wake up with the shakes and a scream chocking in my throat.  I hated that feeling; it was a lonely scary feeling, one that left me with no control.

It’s a funny thing, how our childhood can still make an impact on us years later. And in the case of my dream, it had no footing in reality, it’s not like my parents ever did that to me, or even threatened it. The dream and feeling where just part of whom I am, I need a home, a place to call mine, something I can control, or at least feel like I can. As a young boy I must have had a great fear of losing control, of having nothing to call home. In some ways I think it speaks to my deep love and need for family, but it is also much deeper than that, it also speaks to my feeling of needing to belong. It is a fear that I think most, if not all, youth feel. And we take that feeling with us in to adult life.

It is in the adult life that we learn to hide or mask that feeling, to place a fog over it. And I hate fog; it is a dark and dank feeling. It is covered in mystery and the unknown. When we are living in the fog, we are living in a state of unknown, a state of un-control (I know it’s not a word, but I like it).

As adults, or even as youth, we learn to replace our fears with other, seemingly more pleasant activities. We learn to smoke to fit in, to have that feeling of home. We take drugs in an attempt to remove the fog or we drink and have sex with the hopes of finding a home.

Me, my replacement is smoking, and in my mind I know that it is nothing but bad, but somewhere inside of me is that little boy with no home, everyone moved out, leaving me to fight the world all alone. So I smoke, to fill in the void, to help lift the fog, to give me control over my life. It’s silly, and it’s bad for me, this I know, but I also know it’s something that I have control over, it’s all mine!

Funny how that works, from a fear I choose to harm myself. How much better it would be if we chose to eat healthy, in an attempt to gain control or attend Church more often or to pray more give more, do more and be more. But we don’t, we choose to harm ourselves to add a new layer of fog, to thicken it up by our own freewill.

It is in moments as this, which I truly believe that I can be new; I just need to work harder, believe in myself more and rely on Gods graces more.

It is in moments like this that I wish I could turn back the clock, return to that 7 year old me, not to stop the bad dream, but to be there to hold him, and protect him, to tell him all is ok, that you have a home. It is in moments like this that I feel small and so young. It is moments like this that I miss my mom, and her hugs. I miss the feeling of coming home, of being home and knowing I have a safe home.

It is a sad feeling, this fog is a fog of deception, one that creates a fails you, creates in you a feeling of hopelessness. But like all fogs it will burn off and the sun will shine thru once again.

I know this to be true, because I have faith in God, and I know his plan for me is not one of sorrow or fear but rather one of joy and security.

Paul

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September 11 2001, a day that changed history, a day the America saw terror first hand. A day of great sorrow, not just for the American lives lost, but for all life lost.

Some of you may be saying that there is no sorrow for the terrorist lives lost, they got what they deserved. And to that I would argue that any loss of life is a sorrow.

God created only good, God created only beauty. It is the human factor, the human element that corrupted the perfection of God. So I will say it again, what a sad and sorrowful day, September 11 2001 was, and today September 11, 2008 we should take time to stop and reflect on our fallen nature, say a prayer for all the souls lost on that day and for all the loss of life since then.

If the purpose of this blog is to help us grow and become a better self, then part of that growth has to be forgiveness, of not only ourselves and friends, but that of our enemies also. Jesus tells us to love our enemies as well as our family and friends. He goes on to say that really what sacrifice is it to love the ones who are your friends and family; they love you in return, and make it easier to love them. But your enemies, the ones who want to do you harm, that is a true test of your ability to love.

Please do not confuse love with acceptance, I am commanded to love my enemies, but I do not and should not accept the evil they wish to do, or have done. And yes they should be punished, and sometimes that means killing them, as in war times, but I still should be sad and full of sorrow over the loss of life.

It is a complicated world, and faith adds to that complication, Jesus calls us to a level of compassion that most of us are not able to achieve, yet He keeps calling us to it, no matter how many times we fail.

So on this sad day, one filled with sorrow and memories of innocent lives lost, take a moment and say a prayer that our enemies will see the error of their ways, and that we may open our hearts to them, and offer our forgiveness and love.

Today, fly your flag high, and wear your patriotism proudly, let your heart sing songs of joy and your actions show the world that America, with all of her problems, is still the shining city on the hill, whose light shines for the entire world to see.

May God continue to bless America, and may God bless you

Paul

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