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Broken?

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The family dynamic is a very complex thing, it offers great joy and great sorrow. People have write songs and preformed plays concerning the family. Most TV shows are based on the family dynamic and certainly we have read many many books on the topic.

My family is no different, we have dynamics. We have out moments of great joy and great sorrows, and often times the co-exist. But at times one will override the other, the great sorrow of the loss of a parent or child will trump the great joy, becoming the dominate dynamic. Yet other times they seem to mingle and and the line between the joy and sorrow becomes fuzzy at best.

This gray area of the family dynamic seems to me to be the area were it sits the most. We seem to exist in a void of high and lows and allow ourselves to tread lightly on the soil of betweenness. Nothing wrong with that, for the most part. The great joys and great sorrows can be extremely taxing on ourselves and the over all dynamic of the family.

This is were I find myself, I am currently walking in the land of betweenness.

I feel no great joy or sadness within the dynamics of my family. Currently I am having “issues” with most of my family members. Not a good place to be… Some of the “issues” are of my doing and some are not, as is the case with most family dynamics. But what is different now is that I do not feel and great emotion over this riff. This saddens me in a way, but in other ways it does not. I am at a point in my life were the fight is not something I want to do. The battle field seems a long walk and I am not up to the walk to the battle field, nor the battle itself.

This fact bothers me, why am I willing to let the battle defeat me with out even a fight? Why am I willing to allow the dynamics of the family triumph over me? Family Dynamics are a powerful adversary to have.

To me, it seems that I have been beaten up for way to long, that I have allowed the family dynamics to control me and now I am just tired of it. I no longer want to be beaten up or controlled. I have bent to the will of others to keep the dynamic in a joyful mode and in doing so place myself in a field of regrets. I no longer want to walk in that field. I now want to walk in a field that I choose, be it joyful or not, it is my choice.

I am sure the family dynamic will mend itself, one day, but I do no that it will not be the same as it was. Each of us have changed and that change will affect the overall dynamic. The new family dynamic will still be filled with great joys and great sorrows but they will be defined a little differently now.

Paul

 

Complex Dynamics: Families and Friends
We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Source: http://quotes4all.net/quote_1321.html

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People’s body language communicates how they are reacting to you and your spoken messages. For a more accurate interpretation of their moods, look for "clusters" of the behaviors associated with the different emotional states.

Emotional Mode

People in this emotional state may:

reflective

    • occasionally nod to indicate comprehension
    • move the eyes laterally sideways occasionally to indicate thought processing
    • align the body directly with yours or at a small angular distance
    • have small pupils, digesting info
    • keep direct eye contact
    • lower the brows slightly in thought or evaluation
    • sit or stand passively with minimum movement
    • rest the chin on the hand
    • lean back with an open position
    • blink at the normal rate of 20 closures per minute

responsive

    • lean forward with an open position
    • curl mouth upward at the corners, in a relaxed fashion
    • sit or stand in an open and relaxed posture
    • palms up
    • smile
    • align body directly
    • nod the head
    • keep eye contact
    • have the palms open
    • tilt the head to the side to indicate friendliness
    • mirror your body language
    • blink faster indicating psychological excitement

defensive

    • lean back with a closed position such as arms or legs crossed
    • hold arms tight against the body, indicating nervousness or anxiety; if they are less tight with the elbows elevated and projecting outward it signals arrogance, dislike or disagreement
    • show visible signs of gulping
    • bend head and trunk forward as if bowing, showing submissiveness
    • bend spinal column away from another person as a sign of disagreement, dislike or shyness.
    • bend away generally, indicating negative feelings
    • avoid gaze
    • tilt head to side or forward indicating submissiveness

combative

    • show an open posture
    • be erect or lean forward
    • tense the jaw in anger
    • frown
    • tense the mouth
    • hold hand behind head
    • make a fist
    • make beating gestures with palm down
    • place hands on hips
    • flare nostrils
    • bring head forward and stick chin out
    • tilt head back

Interpreting Emotional Modes

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The above information was from an online class I took for Communication skills.  I found the information useful and wished to share it with everyone.

Paul

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