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Posts Tagged ‘parent’

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

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I love to read, I read books, magazines, newspapers and anything else I can find to read. I love to read different types or styles from Stephen King to Bishop Fulton Sheen. Give me a Catholic book, magazine or

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Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

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me

Just a few random thoughts and views expressed here…

The heat wave of 2010 is here, and in Michigan we have been feeling it, with the temps in the upper 90’s but feeling like the 100’s. It’s been a  hot few days, but it looks like it is over, for now. The stupidity of some people never stops amazing me, just the other day on the news was a story of a grandmother who left her three year old grandson in the car, in a

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Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

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2316677591_6654e4ce6f With Mothers Day upon us, it is time to reflect on our mother, both earthly and those that are no longer with us. The other day I posted a blog about having parents, or better yet, the blog was tong in cheek about needing to prove I had parents on my

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Broken?

Image by littledan77 via Flickr

The family dynamic is a very complex thing, it offers great joy and great sorrow. People have write songs and preformed plays concerning the family. Most TV shows are based on the family dynamic and certainly we have read many many books on the topic.

My family is no different, we have dynamics. We have out moments of great joy and great sorrows, and often times the co-exist. But at times one will override the other, the great sorrow of the loss of a parent or child will trump the great joy, becoming the dominate dynamic. Yet other times they seem to mingle and and the line between the joy and sorrow becomes fuzzy at best.

This gray area of the family dynamic seems to me to be the area were it sits the most. We seem to exist in a void of high and lows and allow ourselves to tread lightly on the soil of betweenness. Nothing wrong with that, for the most part. The great joys and great sorrows can be extremely taxing on ourselves and the over all dynamic of the family.

This is were I find myself, I am currently walking in the land of betweenness.

I feel no great joy or sadness within the dynamics of my family. Currently I am having “issues” with most of my family members. Not a good place to be… Some of the “issues” are of my doing and some are not, as is the case with most family dynamics. But what is different now is that I do not feel and great emotion over this riff. This saddens me in a way, but in other ways it does not. I am at a point in my life were the fight is not something I want to do. The battle field seems a long walk and I am not up to the walk to the battle field, nor the battle itself.

This fact bothers me, why am I willing to let the battle defeat me with out even a fight? Why am I willing to allow the dynamics of the family triumph over me? Family Dynamics are a powerful adversary to have.

To me, it seems that I have been beaten up for way to long, that I have allowed the family dynamics to control me and now I am just tired of it. I no longer want to be beaten up or controlled. I have bent to the will of others to keep the dynamic in a joyful mode and in doing so place myself in a field of regrets. I no longer want to walk in that field. I now want to walk in a field that I choose, be it joyful or not, it is my choice.

I am sure the family dynamic will mend itself, one day, but I do no that it will not be the same as it was. Each of us have changed and that change will affect the overall dynamic. The new family dynamic will still be filled with great joys and great sorrows but they will be defined a little differently now.

Paul

 

Complex Dynamics: Families and Friends
We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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One of my favorite people to look to or to quote is Albert Einstein. I think is because we both are so much a like…. (I’ll let that one sink in a bit before I move on…….)

Truthfully I do see a lot of similarities between us, no I am not as smart as him, no were near, but we both share a thinking pattern. For anyone who reads my blogs or knows me personally will know that I am a person with an imagination and a positive attitude. Albert also has this trait, and I have quoted him several times, in fact I have a small postcard of his hanging in my office and I have read biographies on him. I find him to be a very interesting person. I have no ability to understand his math or his logic (most of the time), but I can understand his outlook and his way of dealing with the world. Today as I was thinking I should blog about something, but I didn’t know what. I didn’t want to blog about politics again, not because I don’t have anything to say, because I do, but because both of my blogs are not primary political they are primarily spiritual. So my latest rant concerning Obama will have to wait…. So what than do I blog about. As I often do when I don’t have a solid idea I will look up quotes on the internet (God’s gift for writers block). What I found was this quote from Mr. Einstein:

The important thing is not to stop questioning. -Albert Einstein

I like that, in fact I teach that… I have from the start, I have always valued questions. To me if you are not questioning that you are dead, dead to the topic at hand, dead to the presenter, dead to the faith, dead to what ever it is you are not questioning.

To an insecure presenter or teacher the questions may come across as attacks, good question by e-magic.as if the questioner is challenging there domain. And they very well may be doing just that, and that’s ok. Hell if it was good enough for old Albert, than it’s good enough for me!

My overriding passion is my faith and teaching my faith to youth. In fact this will be the first time since 1990 that I will not be actively involved in a teaching ministry, but back to my point… My passion is my faith and the passing on of my faith (teaching). Part of this passion is also learning more about my faith on my own and taking formal classes. It is the process of questioning my teachers and my students that grow and learn more. It is the process of questioning that allows my mind to explore other areas it normally would not travel. It allows me the freedom to play the “devils” advocate in the name of knowing.

Questions are what makes America a land of the free, if were are not allowed to question of government, than we are no better than and no different than present day Cuba. Our ability to place our public officials under the microscope of public questioning is our key to freedom. My ability to question my faith is what makes my faith mine is my ability to question her teachings and to question my understanding.

Albert got it right, The important thing is not to stop questioning.

Think about a toddler and there constant why? why? why?, it is their ability to ask why that allows them to grow, why should that be any different for a pre-teen or teen, a parent of grandparent. Our ability to grow never ceases, just our own limitations placed on ourselves do. We have that same power as the curious 3 year old, the power of WHY… That power to change the course of events is not limited to the mind of a 3 year old, it is innate in all of us, it is our nature to question. God created us to question and he celebrates us when we do so.

A single question has changed the course of history, a single question can place common scene on it’s ear and turn right to wrong and evil to good. The power of a question should never be over looked nor should it be played down or belittled.

The question was asked of Jesus, “Are you the Messiah, the King of the Jews?” and all of history was changed for ever. The question was asked, “What is the price of liberty” and a new nation was born.

The ability to question is our basic right as part of humanity, to stop questioning is to stop participating in humanity. Teacher and politicians and parents that stifle the questions of those they are charged with not only stifle that individual but also all of humanity.

Just imagine if:

  • Edison never question electricity
  • Ford never question the assembly line
  • Jefferson never questioned Liberty

It is the questions that have created the humanity we know today. With each stifled question our next Ford, Edison, Einstein or Jefferson might never be able to ask that all important, life changing question.

If we do not allow questions, than who will question poverty, hunger, global war’s and the outer limits of space or the inner limits of the mind? Sniffle one is the same as stifling all.

 

 

Just something to question….

Paul

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Today I had to practice keeping my anger under control, in fact that’s how I started my day. A part of my life currently is dealing with a bankruptcy, due to the failing of our store and helping other people out and getting taken advantage of. But that’s for a different blog. 

What happened this morning to start my day so well… My Jeep was repoed, now if it was expected I would be fine with it, but as part of my bankruptcy is the protection of the Jeep. So my anger quickly came to the forefront. Trust me it took all I have to hold it in check. I am currently working to get my Jeep back and continue on my way to repay all my debt. Yes, I am repaying it all, not all bankruptcy’s are the same, I will be paying off all my debt, the bankruptcy is just to protect me in situations like this. But it failed me, so far. With any luck I will have my Jeep back soon, if not I will be getting a new vehicle.

God finds ways to test us, or is it better to say, we find ways to test ourselves. It is up to me to keep my anger in check, God did not create the situation I am in, I did, God did not make me open up a Catholic/Christian book store, I did, God did not make me help out a family member nor did God make that family member abuse my kindness. God didn’t do any of that, but what God did was to be with me at all times, he offered His comfort and graces to me. And this morning I took them and held my anger at bay. It was hard, and to tell you the truth, I really wanted to let it all out, to use words that are not very nice, but I didn’t.

God has a funny way about Him, he finds the oddest moments to show His love. In the mist of a bankruptcy He chooses to show His grace to me, He chooses to send HIs calming love to me.  God seems to like to use situations like this to show his saving grace.

It seems God has a sense of humor, because I am sure someone finds this all funny, and others will find it justice, thinking I am trying to get out of paying my debt, but as I have stated, I will be repaying my debt 100%, I just need the help in restructuring it, allowing my time to pay it. In three years it will all be paid off, and I will continue along my way. So Ha Ha very funny does not apply here, it’s more like, well here we go again, yet another bump in the road.

I know that God is with me, and that is love and grace is always with me. And with His love I will make it, I will survive. I just hope with a little less bumps and a little less drama. I just want to get on with it, move on and enjoy life.

Now truth be told, I am enjoying life, and I am getting on with it, but I really would like to be done with all this, the stress is sometimes unbearable, and it makes it hard to keep an upbeat personality going. I am, by nature, an upbeat person, so to add this stress to my life is like adding an anchor to me, keeping me down, and this weight last for three years… As Charlie Brown would say UGGH! It is at times like this that I do feel like good old Charlie Brown, I feel like a BLOCK HEAD!

But I know that it will all be over one day, that soon I will be debt free and out of bankruptcy, but I am sure something will replace that, there seems to always be something going on in my life, death of a parent, taking in a youth and now bankruptcy, So what will it be next? I guess I will just have to wait…

Sometimes the excitement is just to much for me… NOT! Truth be told, I could use a little non-excitement in my life, it would be nice to know that noting is happening, that nothing is going wrong. But I am convinced that my life is not meant to be boring, that in to my life strife must come.

But in the end, I was proud of myself for keeping my cool this morning, I was pleased to know that all the bad words stayed in my head, and in the end this little life experience has taught me a life lesson, and for that I am thankful, but its still not funny!

Paul

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Monkey see, Monkey do…. The same goes for a child, they learn to live and how to interact from the example we show.

We are intolerant, so are they

We lie, they return it with a lie

We hate, they hate with greater force

The child is a gift that we must protect and teach to live well in this world. We are obligated to take care of them, to provide for them, not only a home, food and other such things, but we are obligated to teach them how to be in this world.

We do our teaching with words and actions. We set examples, and we live out the truth we are setting forth.  To the best of our ability.

The child is the world of today, and of tomorrow, how we treat them and what we teach them will become ours. The Child of today, that we care for, will be the adult that cares for us.

The golden rule applies here, due unto others, as you want done unto you…

So teach your child to use others, they will use you…

Teach them the respect all things, and they will respect you…

The gift of a good example will repay you many times over, the child today who learns to love, is the adult of tomorrow who save the world.

A child, yours or someone else, it matters not, is ours to teach, to nurture and love. One child sees hatred, and they become, one child sees love and they become.

It is the example that we all set, not just the parents, a child could grow-up in a home of hate, but because of the community around him/her they learn love. A recent report stated that the peers and outside community of a child may have more to do with the child and how they grow up then the parents. The example they used was a child who’s parents where from a foreign country, the child will pick up the accent of his/her peers, and not that of the parents.

We, as community, have the same obligation to raise that child in a healthy, happy and safe environment, it truly takes a community to set the example for the child.

When we vote this November, we need to remember we are also voting for the example we wish to send to the children of our community, when we watch TV, we are setting an example, how we talk, eat and all other daily activities set examples.

It is our obligation, and privlage to raise them, to love them and respect them. Show your love for them by setting a good example in all you do!

Paul

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