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Posts Tagged ‘paths’

Today is the start of a great day, we all have the same opportunity to make this day be the best day of our lives. The great thing about being a human is that we all can choose our own paths, we all can decide what kind of day we will have. And if we decide to make it a bad day that is what it will be but if we decide to make this the greatest day in our lives, than that is what it will be. Each day can be the greatest day or the worst day, you decide.

That is the great thing about like, each morning we get a fresh new start, we can choose to make it something special or something not so special. Me, I decide that each day will be the best day of my life. Sometimes it is hard and yes sometimes I fail, but I try.

Life is funny that way, if you think about it. We often times choose not to try, to just allow the world around us to push and pull us were it likes. Than when we end up were we don’t want to be we complain and wine about it. Yet we had the power all along to not be pushed and pulled. But you know why we do allow it, we allow it because we convince ourselves that that is easier than to fight it. That if we just sit back and allow life to push and pull us, we will have no strife in our lives that life will be ok. But it never works out that way, we never end up where we want to be, and it is always more damaging than if we where to fight it.

Think about it, if a storm is coming, a really big storm, we know that it is smarter to put things away, tie things down and protect what we have. If we have animals we bring them in so they wont get hurt, if we have outdoor tables and chairs we secure them down. We know that the table will suffer less damage and cause less damage if it is not just being pushed and pulled by the storm. The same holds true for us, we will cause less damage to others and ourselves if we are secured if we don’t allow the storms of life to push and pull us. Sure the work to secure everything may take time, and it is hard work, but in the end the pets are all safe and the table and chairs are still were we want them. In life it means that we are still on secure ground and we are were we want to be.

Life is going to try to toss you around some but the more you push back on it and chose to fight for yourself the better you will be. You will know the ground you are on, and you will know that you are secured and safe and you can weather the next storm.

Paul

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Below is an article I read and I thought it would be very helpful to others, enjoy…

Paul

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7 Ways To Keep Going

By Therese J. Borchard
April 7, 2009

A woman who lives with chronic pain said to my mom the other day, “You can’t sit around and wait for the storm to be over. You’ve got to learn how to dance in the rain.”

That’s a perfect description of living with depression, or any chronic illness. But what do you do on the days you don’t think you can take the pain anymore? When you want so badly to be done with your life … or at least be done with the suffering? What do you do when anxiety and depression have spun a web around you so thick that you’re convinced you’ll be trapped forever in those feelings?

I’ve compiled a few tools for moving past that harrowing darkness, suggestions on how to emerge from a place of panic, and techniques on how to dance in the rain.

1. Escape from the pain.

Lately, when my thoughts turn dark, I’ve been telling myself that I don’t want another life … I want a reprieve from the pain. I’m usually at a loss on how to get there. I’m tired, frustrated, desperate, so my thoughts follow the path that has already been blazed throughout the years … and I fantasize about intoxication or some other destructive behavior that doesn’t require a lot of imagination.

How else can I escape … in a positive way? Instead of romanticizing about death or inebriation from booze, I can research new kayaking routes, bike paths, hiking trails, and camping sites. I can invest the time I lose in unproductive and dangerous thoughts into planning creative outings for myself and for the family that will give me/us the reprieve that I’m craving. I can be proactive about finding sitters for the kids so that my thoughts won’t revert back to “stinking thinking.”

2. Track your mood.

An essential piece of my recovery is keeping a mood journal. This helps me to identify certain patterns that emerge. As I said in my “Me on the Bad Days” post, depression can flare up seemingly out of the blue, like a thunderstorm. But often there are telltale signs that can clue me in as to why I’m feeling so fragile. You can catch these if you’ve been recording your mood over time.

3. Talk about it.

I can’t get a therapy appointment round the clock, so I had better invest in some friends that won’t tire of me telling them that my thoughts are turning to mush again.

Over the weekend I called two friends and my mom. “I’m going there again,” I explained. They know what THERE means … without my having to explain or justify. I don’t fully understand how gabbing heals, the scientific explanation of why venting does so much good, but I can surely attest to it, and confirm the connection between talking about something and feeling better. It’s like you’re a scared little kid in a lightning storm, and a neighbor, seeing that you’re locked out of your house, invites you inside and makes a cup of hot chocolate for you. Well, maybe it’s not that good, but it’s close, which is why our phone bill is way up this month.

4. Repeat: “I WILL Get Better”!

As I said in my video, “I WILL Get Better,” I think about my Aunt Gigi every time I wind up in the depression tunnel, and remember her repeating to me over the phone a few years back: “You will get better. Repeat that. You WILL get better.” Peter J. Steincrohn, M.D., author of “How to Stop Killing Yourself” wrote: “Faith is a powerful antidote against illness. Keep repeating – and believing: I WILL get well. If you believe, you help your doctor and yourself.” And this paragraph from William Styron’s “Darkness Visible” always reassures me:

If depression had no termination, then suicide would, indeed, be the only remedy. But one need not sound the false or inspirational note to stress the truth that depression is not the soul’s annihilation; men and women who have recovered from the disease–and they are countless–bear witness to what is probably its only saving grace: it is conquerable.

5. Take baby steps … a day at a time.

On mornings that I wake up with that nauseating knot of anxiety in my stomach, everything seems overwhelming. Getting myself to the bathroom so that I can brush my teeth feels seems like a triathlon in August. So I don’t attempt the triathlon. I only have to worry about getting my left foot down on the ground. And then my right one. And then I have to stand.

I’ll look at my to-do list and cross off two-thirds of it. “What on this list do I absolutely HAVE to do?” I say so myself. Everything else can wait. And then I start with the first thing, and do the first mini-movement that I need to do in order to accomplish that. If it’s getting Katherine dressed, that means 1. Finding Katherine. (That’s harder than it sounds.) 2. Picking out an outfit. (Ditto.) 3. Helping her out of her nightgown and into her clothes. (That’s where my nervous system almost shuts down.) And so on. Each item on the list can be broken down into a dozen mini-steps.

6. Distract yourself.

Some days I’m just not worth much. All I can do is distract myself … to keep myself from thinking about how awful I feel. Just like Fr. Joe carved figurines out of soap when he was depressed, and Priscilla made jewelry to keep her mind off of her anxiety, I will try to do anything to keep my brain occupied and away from my hurt, sort of like I did when I was in labor: baking chocolate-chip cookies, looking through old pictures, listening to Beethoven and Mozart, watching a comedy, swimming, running, biking, or hiking through the woods. (I didn’t do all of that in labor, though.)

7. Get out your self-esteem file.

For the past few days I’ve been carrying around letters from my self-esteem file in my pocket like a baby blanket. Some people have told me that my self-esteem must be shallow if I have to rely on praise from other people. Maybe it is. But I have to start somewhere, and anyone who has sat in that panic place where you want to end it all, knows that it’s virtually impossible at that time to come up with a list of your own strengths. So you have to believe what other people say.

Return to EverydayHealth.com

Therese J. Borchard writes the daily Beliefnet.com blog Beyond Blue (voted by Psych Central as one of the Top 10 Depression Blogs) and moderates Group Beyond Blue, the Beliefnet Community online support group for depression. Her memoir “Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes” will be released in January of 2010. Subscribe to Beyond Blue here or visit her at www.ThereseBorchard.com.

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Stay the course, do not sway of the course, keep on going and follow through. Good advice, most of the time, but we need to allow life to happen, and sometimes when life happens we need to be able to redirect ourselves, or to allow life to take us where we need to go.

 

Change happens daily, change is part of life, and we need to learn to allow it to happen, sometimes that means stepping out of the way and sometimes that means getting caught up in the flow. Change will happen either way; the only difference is how we choose to respond to it.

 

All too often we set our plans and stick to it, regardless of the world around us, and often that leads to disaster, and a total breakdown of the plan, and in the end the change we wanted is not the change we got.

 

Detours are part of life, they lead us down different paths, and sometimes we end up where we wanted to be, and more often then not we end up where we thought we would never go.

 

To survive the detours we need to learn that life is a fluid entity, it is constantly in flux, changing and redefining it self, and all too often we are not, we are running from the current.

 

The decision to run with the change does not guarantee a positive outcome, and the decision to run from the change can lead to a positive one. Each option is a risk, and you have to manage that risk, and learn to see the end, to your best ability, but mostly you need to allow the process to happen regardless of your decision.

 

Change happens, to us and to the world around us, we are in flux at all times, how do you want to handle it? How do you see yourself when the current of life shifts? Can you allow it to challenge you? Or do you have to control it? Will the change break you or make you stronger?

 

Some changes are a soft gentle wind others are hurricanes of anger and resentment. Change is a constant, change is a fact, and we need to deal with it, and grow with it, or be covered up in its wake by the debris of life.

 

 

 

Paul  

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