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God Bless America

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

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  United States Declaration of Independence

IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s

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Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

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Stock Photo of the Consitution of the United S...

Image by Rosie O’Beirne via Flickr

Ok, so here it is, I have been listening to talk radio on the way into work, and the big topic The Arizona law on illegal’s.  The Catholic Bishops seem to think the law is inhuman and some how degrading. The liberal bleeding hearts feel that the law is unjust and takes away the

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This is take from an online article in Time magazine…..

 

Time.com

  • By EBEN HARRELL Eben Harrell 29 mins ago

A professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts, Robert Feldman has spent most of his career studying the role deception plays in human relationships. His most recent book, The Liar in Your Life: How Lies Work and What They Tell Us About Ourselves, lays out in stark terms just how prevalent lying has become. He talked to TIME about why we all need a dose of honesty.

What are the main findings of your research?
Not only do we lie frequently, but we lie without even thinking about it. People lie while they are getting acquainted at an average of three times in a 10-minute period. Participants in my studies actually are not aware that they are lying that much until they watch videos of their interactions.

One of the reasons people get away with so much lying, your research suggests, is that we are all essentially dupes. Why do we believe so many lies?
This is what I call the liar’s advantage. We are not very good at detecting deception in other people. When we are trying to detect honesty, we look at the wrong kinds of nonverbal behaviors and we misinterpret them. The problem is that there is no direct correlation between someone’s nonverbal behavior and their honesty. "Shiftiness" could also be the result of being nervous, angry, distracted or sad. Even trained interrogators [aren’t] able to detect deception at [high] rates. You might as well flip a coin to determine if someone is being honest.

What’s more, a lot of the time we don’t want to detect lies in other people. We are unwilling to put forward the cognitive effort to suspect the veracity of statements, and we aren’t motivated to question people when they tell us things we want to hear. When we ask someone, "How are you doing?" and they say "fine," we really don’t want to know what their aches and pains are. So we take "fine" at face value. (Read a TIME story on ground rules for telling lies)

Do you feel deception is a particularly relevant topic to our society?
We are living in a time and culture in which it’s easier to lie than it has been in the past. The message that pervades society is that it’s okay to lie; you can get away with it. One of the things I found in my research is that when you confront people with their lies they very rarely display remorse. Lying is not seen as being morally reprehensible in any strong way.

You can make the assumption that because it often makes social interactions go more smoothly, lying is okay. But there is a cost to even seemingly benign lies. If people are always telling you that you look terrific and you did a great job on that presentation, there’s no way to have an accurate understanding of yourself. Lies put a smudge on an interaction, and if it’s easy to lie to people in minor ways it becomes easier to lie in bigger ways.

You say in the book that recent DNA evidence suggests that 10% of people have fathers other than the men they believe conceived them. So is lying pretty widespread in our intimate lives, too?
Research shows we lie less to people that we are close to. But when we do, they tend to be the bigger types of lies. And the fallout is greater if the deception is discovered.

You show how lying is a social skill. Does that mean it’s part of an evolutionary legacy?
I don’t think lying is genetically programmed. We learn to lie. We teach our kids to be effective liars by modeling deceitful behavior.

In your book you offer a way to cut back on lies. What’s the "AHA! Remedy?"
AHA! stands for active honesty assessment. We need to be aware of the possibility that people are lying to us, and we need to demand honesty in other people. Otherwise we will get a canned affirmation. At the same time, we have to demand honesty of ourselves. We have to be the kind of people who don’t tell white lies. We don’t have to be cruel and totally blunt, but we have to convey information honestly. The paradox here is that if you are 100% honest and blunt, you will not be a popular person. Honesty is the best policy. But it’s not a perfect policy.

(more…)

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It has been some time for me to write an original blog for You Can Be new, I have either posted the same blog to both of my sites or just not posted. Well today that will stop, I will post once again an original thought….

I have been extremely busy as of late, with the release of my companies product and with my 9 to 5 job… But I will make time, either at night or in the morning to post. I know that no one depends on my post for there life, that they can survive a day with out reading what I have to say, in fact I would say some people as most likely happy I stopped posting. But I will go back to a statement I made early on in this blog, I blog for me, know one else.  It is for my benefit that I spend the time blogging, it helps me hone in my skills, fine tune my opinions and in someway allows me the small feeling of being part of something larger than myself. 

We all need to belong to something that is larger than ourselves, we all need to know and understand that we are not the center of the universe that we are not the alpha and omega but rather we are just one small part of the over all.

Humility is a strong and powerful ally to have. He who is humble is truly at peace with themselves. The humility to admit that you are not the center of the world, to admit that your are nothing but one piece of the over all puzzle will place you in the position of power.

Now I am sure most of you are scratching your head at this very moment asking yourself, How can be humble place me in a position of power? Well good question, and I am glad you asked…

Humility allows you, the humble one, to remove yourself from the moment, allowing you to see the events that are taking place as they truly are, and not as you wish to see them as to benefit you.

Read read that one more time, make sure you grasp that concept… I’ll wait…

Ok, good, now that you have read it once more, lets look at it again.

If I am truly humble, than in any given situation I will not place myself at the center of events, but to remain humble I would remove myself and my concerns for self from the event and look at the concerns of others. If I am not the center of the universe, the do all and end all or the alpha and omega than I no longer need to concern myself with how I would feel or look or whatever, by true concern would be for the others involved, and there are always others.

If I except the fact that I am but one small part of the over all, and I am humble than my concern turns to the other small parts of the over all.

Just think about that for a few seconds, the possibilities of it. By humbling ourselves we have allowed ourselves to be used for the greater good, and in doing so, we have shown ourselves to be leaders, thus gaining great power over ourselves and others.

The irony of it all is this, we have gained great power, but as a humble being we will never use it to advance our own personal agenda. A truly humble person has the ability to change the world.

  • Jesus
  • Gandhi
  • Fr. Solanus Casey
  • Mother Teresa

All are examples of great humility, and all have changed the world, some to greater effects than others, but change the world they did.

Humility is a powerful thing, and one that can not be missed used, by it’s very nature, one can not be humble and full of themselves, one can not be humble yet seek to harm others, one can not be humble and see only themselves. To truly be humble one has to truly deny themselves to themselves. One can not serve self and others at the same time, as Jesus said, One can not serve to masters…

I strive for this perfect humility, I fail more than i achieve, but i continue to strive.

Paul

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I got this is one of my email newsletters and thought I would pass it on…

-Paul

Sometimes you need to get away, but you don’t have the time or money. Don’t despair: A mental vacation can help reduce your stress.

By Diana Rodriguez

Medically reviewed by Lindsey Marcellin, MD, MPH

take a mental vacation

Small stressors can quickly add up to major stress and one big stressful event can send you reeling, with no idea of how to start addressing it. If you could just get away for a little stress relief, you know you would be okay. But too few of us have the time — or the money — to run off on an impromptu vacation.

Well, you don’t have to spend a dime or go anywhere other than a quiet spot nearby to take a mental vacation.

Stress Relief: Take Off on a Mental Vacation

If you don’t find a way to reduce stress, your health will pay the price, both mentally and physically. It’s not necessary to get a lengthy massage or head to a beach to relax — you can unwind every day in simple ways and still get a major benefit.

"People who are under a lot of stress have physical problems related to constantly being under stress," says Sally R. Connolly, a social worker and therapist at the Couples Clinic of Louisville in Louisville, Ky. "And if you don’t find ways [to relieve it], even in small periods of time, you can have long-term consequences." It’s crucial to add stress relief to your everyday routine, she says.

Connolly suggests learning techniques to reduce stress and trying to sneak in one or two each day. "Even if it’s five minutes in the morning and five minutes at night, just find time to do that," she says.

Stress Relief: Six Quick Mental Trips

Visualizing a stress-free place and other relaxation techniques are quick and easy ways to help your whole body calm down and give you just the boost you need to get on with your day. Connolly suggests these six ways for you to slip away on a mental vacation to reduce stress:

  1. Read a book in bed. Connolly says this is a great escape and can leave you feeling refreshed, relaxed, and ready to face whatever is outside your bedroom door. Your bed is warm, cozy, comfortable, and a peaceful place for you. It feels luxurious, and getting lost in a good book is a perfect way to forget, then refocus, your own thoughts.
  2. Visualize relaxation. Steal a few quiet moments to close your eyes and think of an image that relaxes you — such as the warm sun on your skin and the sound of the ocean, a big country field sprinkled with flowers, or a trickling stream. Connolly suggests thinking back to a time when you felt peaceful and relaxed, and focus on releasing the tension from your toes to your head.
  3. Look at pictures from a happy time. Connolly recommends pulling out snapshots from a photo album of a family vacation or a fun dinner with friends. Reflect on your memories of that occasion, and what made it so enjoyable. Spend a few quiet moments reminiscing, and you’ll find yourself more relaxed.
  4. Look out a window. Distract yourself by focusing on something other than what’s stressing you. Grab a steaming cup of coffee or tea, close the door, and take a mental break. Do a little people watching, appreciate any birds within view, or enjoy some fluffy clouds rolling by. Allow yourself to daydream for a few minutes.
  5. Listen to a relaxation CD. Invest in a couple of these CDs for a short daily escape, says Connolly. You may like to hear chirping birds, rolling waves, or gentle rain — whatever your choice, closing your eyes and listening to these soothing sounds while doing some deep breathing can help you relax and de-stress.
  6. Take a walk. Exercise is a great way to relieve stress because it’s a great escape for your mind. Head out for a quiet early morning walk or lace up your sneakers on your lunch break. Walking along a trail, waterfront, or other peaceful place when possible may offer even more relaxation.

Treat yourself to a 5-, 10-, or 20-minute mental vacation each day and train your body to relax and reduce stress — you’ll be amazed at how much better you feel after taking just a few luxurious moments all to yourself.

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Ask yourself this one question, and than respond truthfully and I guarantee you will change your life forever.

Can a statement like that truly be true? Can one question alter your whole life, make that much of an impact on you that your life is totally different, that you charge a new course?

What sort of question must it be? Is it a question for one of your ancestors of Greek or Roman descent? A question of a great sage or from one of the eastern religions know for deep thoughts. A question from Buda or Krishna maybe, or did it come from Jesus or from one of the prophets?

Or maybe the question really doesn’t exist, maybe there is no one question that will change your life, maybe it’s all useless, we should just give up now, and not even search for the question.

Ask yourself this one question, and than respond truthfully and I guarantee you will change your life forever.

I know the question, and I will share it with you now, this one simple question will, if you allow it to, change your life forever. The rules are simple:

1. Read the question as it is, do not try to read anything in to it, there is no hidden message or meaning.

2. You must be open minded about the question.

3. You must give it some thought, this is not a question you can just simple put down any old response to.

4. You must be honest, you can not respond the way you think others want you to, you must respond with the truth as you know it at this moment.

5. You must be willing to take ownership of the responses, the only way to use the responses for agents of change, is to own them.

Ok, now that you have the rules, and you agree to them, we can move on, you will need to write the question down, it’s part of the ownership thing, by writing it down, in your own hand writing, it becomes yours.

Here is the question:

What really matters to you?

 

That’s it, that is the one question that will change your life. But remember, you have to allow it time to sink in, you have to give it deep thought. This is not a quick response question, but rather one of slow deep thinking.

Once you have your list or paragraphs or statements or what ever you decided to write, now comes the hard part. Now comes the part were you must look at that list and ask the following questions about it:

1. Is it (the feeling, action, goal) a positive?

2. Does it (feeling, action, goal) create a better world?

3. Will it help others?

4. Is it affirming?

The questions above a re designed to help you align your responses to a life changing action.  Example, if what really matters to me is money,than how is it a positive, how is it useful for a better world how will it help others and how will it be affirming to me?

To make a difference in our own lives, we must be willing to make a difference in the lives of others. No man (or woman) lives in a void, our actions or lack of actions affects the world around us, to truly become more we must be willing and able to affect others around us, in a positive and uplifting way.

The question “What really matters to you” is not a question about you, but really it is a question that will help you define your interactions with the world around you.

Good luck with the question, it truly can change your life.

Paul

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Can one be strong and weak at the same time? Can a person be over bearing and shy? Do we have the ability to be more than one self? Can we be many persons in one person?

Before I give you response, let me start off by saying I know people who act in such a way. They are a different person depending on who they are dealing with. Sometimes they are nice and understanding and other times they can be cold and harsh. It all depends on what is in it for them. The personality changes to benefit them and to please others around them. They may be shy if that is called for or strong if they see a chance to move in.

But are they truly two different personalities? Can one person really have 2 sides? I say no, is only one personality at play here. It is one of manipulation and control. It is a personality that centers on the self. It is one controlled by the EGO.

Now before everyone starts to yell at me, yes I do understand that we all act differently in different situations. We do what is necessary and called for at that particular time. That is not what I am talking about.

People know me; they know who I am and what I am like. When I meet people for the first time, they get an idea of whom and what I am. So if, for example, I meet someone for the first time at Church, they will see a more subdued me, but still me. So if that person sees me outside of Church they will not be shocked at what I am saying or doing. They understand me. The people above that I am referring to are not like this, they act in ways that are not true to themselves, they are manipulating the situation to cast the best light on themselves or to gather what they need. If the same person were to see them outside of the situation where they met they would not recognize them as who they knew.

We all know people like this, they feed off of others, they place the world and the entire universe around them, and they are the center. I have worked with them; they are in my family and are in my circle of friends. It is a frustrating relationship to have; the closer you are to them, the more you notice the many in the one. And the more you are expected to know who is who and when they will appear. Because once again, they are the center, you just revolve around them.

Their EGO’s are huge, and acts as there gravity force, keeping all inline and revolving around them, and any person that falls out of line, no longer revolves around them are sent off in too deep space or made to crash. That is until they decide they are needed once again.

So how do we deal with this, what are we to do with such a person? It has taken me years of learning to discover the answer to that question. I have read many books and as I have stated, I know many people who fit in to this, so my life experiences has taught me a lot, but I am a slow learner, and it has taken me many years to finally understand all that I have learned. So what is one to do with a situation like this, they are to leave it, get out of its gravitational pull.

Yep it’s that simple… Sort of…

I know that it’s not easy to leave a friendship or family member behind, but if you truly wish to make a better you, the key to a new you is to dust off all that is unhealthy for you. To leave behind anything that will pull you back. Read Dr. Wayne Dyer’s “The Power of Intention” to get a deeper understanding or even the Bible, Jesus himself walks away from unhealthiness. We must surround ourselves with positive energy, not and Egocentric energy, we must align with people and things that will make us better humans, more capable of creating change not only in ourselves but in the world around us.

Paul

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