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Posts Tagged ‘situation’

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

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A stadium filled with men listen as Cardinal Adam Maida introduces speaker Michael Timmis at the annual men's conference.

This past Saturday I attended a men’s conference. This was a state wide Catholic men’s conference and the first one I have ever attended. The list of speakers was impressive, but the one I wanted to see was Mathew Kelly, an

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Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

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Christians believe that Jesus is the mediator ...

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As part of my job, my 9 to 5 job, the one that pays my bills, I get to travel the world. I love that aspect of my job, I love going to new places. Not only do I get to go to new places, I get to make new friends. I now have friends in five countries around the world and have traveled to seven different countries. So on this next trip I get to visit my friends I have not seen in over a year. It will be nice.

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

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"The last of the human freedoms is to choose your attitude in any given set of circumstances." -Victor Frankl

 

For anyone who has ever read this blog or my other blog, you know that freedom is a major theme for me. Often times I use the word Authentic Freedom because we all to often mix up what we believe is freedom to what freedom really is. Well I think Mr. Frankl got it right!

Freedom is a slippery thing and has many sides, but we still are the masters of it and we decide how we choose to use or abuse it or is some cases how we neglect it or abandon it. 

I have long been a believer in the you make your own destiny, we choose to react to situations in a way that will give us the outcome we desire. I have seen two people process the same information yet each will tell you a completely different story and will react to it in an almost predictable way. A negative person will always find the bad, the down in any situation and they will project that feeling in to the situation causing it to be a negative feeling or outcome. Were as a positive person will take a negative and turn it in to a positive, they will find the positive in any situation and project that emotion in to the situation causing a more positive outcome. It truly is in our control, I myself have seen it and have participated in it,as have we all.

So what makes one positive and one negative? Why would one choose to be negative? Well there are many reasons or theories:

  • Genetics
  • Hard wiring in the mind
  • Life experiences
  • Attention
  • Born that way
  • Just want to be

All are valid and I thing in some small ways all are true and all play a roll in it. And the same can be said for the positive person, all the same valid reasons are just as true for the positive person, what I think it comes down to is this. I choose to be positive or negative because from being one over the other I gain greater joy, greater pleaser. Yes the negative person gains joy from there negatives. If they did not they would not be negative. Just like a smoker gains pleasure from smoking, a negative person gains please from the negativeness of there life. They create it and nurture it, so they must enjoy it. Now some may be saying well that’s just silly, no one would choose to be negative, but really is it that silly of a concept? People choose to be whipped and chained up for sexual pleasure, and most of us would have to say that, that doesn’t sound like pleasure to us. But to them it is, to them it is a great pleasure the pain turns them on. If this is so, than it stands to reason that a negative person must gain pleasure from there negativeness or they would not be negative.

It is our choosing, our freedom to choose our response to anyone given situation. This freedom to determine our reaction is one of the greatest freedoms we have, it truly is an authentic freedom. We read about people in horrific situations, Nazi concentration camps, torture chambers and such, yet we also hear of the love they felt or offered or the sacrifice they gave and the positive out look on life they still maintained.

The film “I am David” is a perfect example of how our outlook on situations will determine the outcome of the situation. It tells the story of a young boy who, with the help of a prison guard, escapes from a concentration camp in Eastern Europe, and of his journey to Denmark. Along the way he meets interesting people and has many adventures. In this movie David has a very negative outlook on life, with valid reasons, and yet he is met with some very positive opportunities that turn negative, based on his projection unto them. In the film David grows, and as he does, his negativeness changes in to a more positiveness, causing the events in his life to become more positive. Yes I know its a film, but the concept is the same.

We control our outcome, we determine the reaction we choose to give to any given situation. Life is full of opportunities to see good or evil, positive or negative it’s in our power to see it as we please, it is our last freedom, one that no one can take form us.

Paul

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My frustration levels are at an all time high, I feel the effects of no control and am ready to scream… This about sums up my current mood, if I twittered I would have posted it, and most likely received responses from friends and people I don’t know offering me words of wisdom I don’t want. But as it is I do blog, and so I will post my frustrations here, but unlike twitter I can express myself with a few more words, I will not be limited, my power to say as much or as little as I like is not taken away from me on my blog.

This over all feeling stems from the fact that power, my ability to make my own choice has been taken away from me. I am being forced to do something that I do not wish to do.

I think as humans we cherish our freewill, we consider it to be one of the most important aspects of our lives. I know I do… The ability to make up my own mind, to chose what I want or don’t want is, to me, the most important freedom I enjoy. All other freedoms stem from this one. Freewill is the mother of all others…

If I do not have the freedom of Freewill, than I could not choose to believe or not believe in God, with out freewill I could not choose to remain faithful or not, nor would I have the freedom to decide what kind of life I choose to live.

When we perceive our freewill is under attack we react, we fight back, if we can. The current problem is I have no ability to fight back, I have no freedom from this decision, and that weighs heavy on me.

The idea that I can not control the situation, the fact that I am being made to feel helpless is a very taxing idea, real or not, it is all the same. Since freewill is not a tangible object, not something that Wal-Mart sell, we are left with only or “feelings” and “perceptions” of what freewill is or does. To me, it is the essence of all other freedoms, it is the greatest of gifts from God and it is the very being of our humanhood. To have this freedom striped away from me, to have my ability to exercise it or not trampled on is a travesty.

In our current society we see this happen all the time and we see the effects of it in our everyday life. For me it is the fact that as part of my bankruptcy I must turn in my current vehicle and purchase a new vehicle with very limited funds (like I said I am in bankruptcy). The fact that the courts do not seem to care, that they seem to make it almost easer to just walk away is in it self a shame, but that’s another blog. The simple fact that I am being forced in to a situation that does not serve me and my interest the best, the simple fact that they have taken away my ability to use my freewill is dehumanizing. And before any of you start saying, “Well what did you expect, your in bankruptcy, it was your own bad choices that got you there in the first place”, all I can say is Yes I know, and You have no idea why I am in my current situation… My complainant is not about bankruptcy, but rather about the dehumanization of the process.

Example:

I my case I have to get rid of the current vehicle, it’s lease runs out in September, but the courts want me to return it now, fair enough. To be able to continue to work I need a dependable car, so I looked in to a  Kia, and inexpensive vehicle with a warranty. With the credit market tight, and the fact that I am in bankruptcy the payment would have been over $400 per mount, about what I am paying for my current lease. I asked for a used car, or the cheapest payment, but the condition of the bank would not allow it. I looked at a Ford dealership, won’t even consider me. So my options are limited.

So in-order to make the payments on the new vehicle my payments to the courts has to go down, logical I would say. Well the courts don’t seem to think so, in fact they won’t even allow me to skip a payment to have the down payment needed to get the new vehicle I need to get to work.

My lawyer than recommends that I just turn in the current, skip this payment and purchase a used vehicle with the whole $2000.00 I have. Here is the problem:

1. Not many reliable vehicles for that kind of money

2. By skipping my payment the courts can decide to toss out my case, leaving me holding the bag

3. I have a total breakdown due to the fact the our court system is (insert bad word here) up!

 

So, and I started off this blog, I and extremely frustrated, and ready to blow! I woke up at 3am this morning and was wide awake until 4, dozed in and out until 5:30 when my alarm went off… My 3am wake up call was a good time for me to practice my deep breathing skills and to say a few prayers to a select few saints… It will all work out, of this I am certain, like I have sated in this blog, we must have a positive attitude for a positive end result.

 

 

Paul

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It has been some time for me to write an original blog for You Can Be new, I have either posted the same blog to both of my sites or just not posted. Well today that will stop, I will post once again an original thought….

I have been extremely busy as of late, with the release of my companies product and with my 9 to 5 job… But I will make time, either at night or in the morning to post. I know that no one depends on my post for there life, that they can survive a day with out reading what I have to say, in fact I would say some people as most likely happy I stopped posting. But I will go back to a statement I made early on in this blog, I blog for me, know one else.  It is for my benefit that I spend the time blogging, it helps me hone in my skills, fine tune my opinions and in someway allows me the small feeling of being part of something larger than myself. 

We all need to belong to something that is larger than ourselves, we all need to know and understand that we are not the center of the universe that we are not the alpha and omega but rather we are just one small part of the over all.

Humility is a strong and powerful ally to have. He who is humble is truly at peace with themselves. The humility to admit that you are not the center of the world, to admit that your are nothing but one piece of the over all puzzle will place you in the position of power.

Now I am sure most of you are scratching your head at this very moment asking yourself, How can be humble place me in a position of power? Well good question, and I am glad you asked…

Humility allows you, the humble one, to remove yourself from the moment, allowing you to see the events that are taking place as they truly are, and not as you wish to see them as to benefit you.

Read read that one more time, make sure you grasp that concept… I’ll wait…

Ok, good, now that you have read it once more, lets look at it again.

If I am truly humble, than in any given situation I will not place myself at the center of events, but to remain humble I would remove myself and my concerns for self from the event and look at the concerns of others. If I am not the center of the universe, the do all and end all or the alpha and omega than I no longer need to concern myself with how I would feel or look or whatever, by true concern would be for the others involved, and there are always others.

If I except the fact that I am but one small part of the over all, and I am humble than my concern turns to the other small parts of the over all.

Just think about that for a few seconds, the possibilities of it. By humbling ourselves we have allowed ourselves to be used for the greater good, and in doing so, we have shown ourselves to be leaders, thus gaining great power over ourselves and others.

The irony of it all is this, we have gained great power, but as a humble being we will never use it to advance our own personal agenda. A truly humble person has the ability to change the world.

  • Jesus
  • Gandhi
  • Fr. Solanus Casey
  • Mother Teresa

All are examples of great humility, and all have changed the world, some to greater effects than others, but change the world they did.

Humility is a powerful thing, and one that can not be missed used, by it’s very nature, one can not be humble and full of themselves, one can not be humble yet seek to harm others, one can not be humble and see only themselves. To truly be humble one has to truly deny themselves to themselves. One can not serve self and others at the same time, as Jesus said, One can not serve to masters…

I strive for this perfect humility, I fail more than i achieve, but i continue to strive.

Paul

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What ever happen to  the concept of responsibility? It seems we have lost that somewhere along the way to enlightenment. As we grab onto those lofty ideas of inner growth and walk down the path of opening our minds, we seem to forget that we have an obligation to self, that we are responsible for our own actions.

In the modern world, all-to-often we hear people state “Not my fault”, “I didn’t know” or even “But, I wanted too” or something along those lines. the basic underling theme of each of them is the same, the lack of personal responsibility.

And the sickening part of it all is that we as a culture now think this is an appropriate response. We now expect and accept the concept that it was out of our control, that we had nothing to do with it, that a great force overtook us and we could not stop it, we were at it’s mercy, that we are the victims (because everyone loves being the victim).

My 17 year old nephew is a perfect example, or for that matter, any teen will prove the point. Ask a very direct question, such as did you_(fill in the blank)_? and 9 times out of 10 you will get the response of an excuse, a reason why they did not.  The question required a simple yes or no, nothing more nothing less, but what you get is reasons why they had no control over the situation. Now you may be saying, well that’s just teens, they all do that… And I will respond by saying, Yes you are correct they all do do it, and that’s my point! We, the adults, allow them to, because we, the adults, accept that, we nurture it in them. If we, the adults, did not allow it, than they, the teens, would not do it. Example, when my nephew, or any other teen, responds to a simple yes or no question my response is “That’s not what I asked you”. I didn’t ask for the six million reasons why the dishes are still in the sink, or why you lost your phone or anything else, what I asked was “Did you _____?”. Simple question requiring a simple response. And the funny thing is, he now knows (for the most part) that he needs to respond to the question, and not play the victim of his own lack of responsibility, in fact, the scary part of all this is, that most youth I deal with learn this lesson rather quickly from me, because I do not allow them to skip over personal responsibility when they are responding or talking to me.

But as long as we, the adults, allow them to continue placing the blame elsewhere, as long as we accept and expect them to do so, they will continue to do so. But, and this is a big but, we must also take stock in our own lack of personal responsibility. We as adults do the same exact thing, I wave worked with and still do work with many who never take the blame, the blame is always place on someone or something else. I have the same exact conversations that I have with my nephew with adults, ask a yes or no questions get a five minute dissertation on why they did not or could not or would not, but the same theme runs through it all, it is never, under any circumstances there fault. Funny how that works, with so many perfect adults in the world one must wonder how we ever got so screwed up.

The challenge before us is one of paramount responsibility, in a world were the Nanny State is on the rise, and were the populous wants and expects the government to take care of them from birth to death we are entering in to a world of no responsibility. We are entering a unprecedented time in American History, it is a defining moment for us, as our President (Mr. Obama) likes to keep telling us, and he is correct! The defining moment is now, and it is all about responsibility, our own personal responsibility. We have to decide if we want to keep passing our responsibility to the government or do we want to keep it for ourselves. Do we want to be truly free (keeping our own personal responsibility) or do we want to be slaves (giving all our responsibility to the government).

Personal responsibility is walking towards a slow death, so far it has been an uphill walk, but we are now at the top of the hill, and what we choose to do at this moment in our history will determine the direction and speed of our walk. If we choose to continue to negate our personal responsibilities we will run, not walk down the back side of the hill in to slavery to the government, but if we choose at this pivotal time in our history to turn back towards they way we came from, if we choose to re-accept our personal responsibilities, that we can start our slow, responsible walk back down the front side of the hill towards our personal freedoms once again.

We have a choice to make, it is our responsibility to make the correct choice, not only for our today’s but also for our children’s children’s tomorrows.

Paul

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Frustration is a very powerful emotion and one that can wipe you out. I know, I have been dealing with a lot of it as of late. The frustration of trying to do what is right, the frustration of dealing with people who do not act or react they way you expect them too or the way you need them too. Frustration over just being frustrated.  It’s a never ending stream of energy that seems to just slap the living @#$%# out of me, and too tell you the truth, I am ready for it to just all end.

Last night I was exhausted, the night before the same thing, and the same with the night prior to that one. I can’t remember what day it was, but it was last week, on my way home from work, stopped at a red light, I dozed off, kinda scary stuff. Now understand I am in bed by 10pm most nights, never later that 11pm ad up at 6am, work until 3pm. So it’s not like I am burning the candle at both ends, it’s just he stress and frustration of my life at this very moment.

So what can I do, how can I cope… Easy, I just do, I allow myself time to vent, I allow my self time to just think. For example last night I need a gallon of milk so I walked to the local store, leaving the car in the drive way (by the way the car is one of my frustration points). The walk allowed me time to think, time to work out the hidden energy that is wiping me out day in and day out.

I find moments of peace moments of relaxation, not many, but I find them. In my small back yard I have a pond, often times I will sit out by the pond, listen to the water fall, and just let myself go. the pond gives me many hours of joy, just puttzing  around, cleaning it, feeding the fish and turtles, just allowing myself to be.

It is important that we find theses small moments in life, times were we allow the outside world to slip away, as long as we always come back to reality. Notice that I never stated I go to the bar to drink, or I sit by the pond with a case of beer or a bottle of bourbon. Yes I do like a cold beer every now and than, and a good glass of wine is always nice, but I do not use them as escapes from reality. I would rather use nature and or a good book.

My frustration levels will go down, I will start to feel a normality return to my life, once I figure out how I can once again control my life (yes I am a control freak). But until than I will use the little escapes I have discovered for myself, a good book, a nice walk, sitting by my pond or one of several others. Each allowing me just a moment of calm each taking my mind off the current situation, allowing my subconscious mind time to process all the @#@# going on in my life. And I know that one day soon (soon is a relative word) the world will be right once again.

Paul

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