Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘steps’

 

Here are the numbers:

  • 21 percent have learning disabilities
  • 7 times more likely to have ADHD
  • 65 percent graduate high school
  • 44 percent are undergrads in college
  • 42 percent are in graduate school
  • 10.3 percent seriously consider suicide
  • 4.6 percent attempt suicide
  • 27 percent are heavy drinkers
  • 30 percent use tobacco
  • 29 percent have carried a weapon
  • 1o percent under age 13 have had sex
  • 11 percent tried marijuana before age 13
  • 63 percent have had sex by the time they are high school seniors

 

What a list of numbers, what a shocking value and depending on what label I attach the the list will determine your reaction to the list. If I were to say that the list represents African-American’s we would be outraged, if it represented females we would scream sexism. If I were to tell you this was research from an third world nation we would say we expected this.

But if I tell you this is the numbers of our boy, here in America, most would just set it aside, think nothing more of it. Were is the outrage, were is the cry of unfair treatment. Lets look at some of the numbers again, using a comparison to girls here in America.

  • 72 percent of girls graduate from high school and only 65 percent of boys
  • 56 percent of undergraduates are girls and only 44 percent are boys
  • 24 percent of girls admit to drinking heavily as opposed to 27 percent of boy
  • 21 percent of girls use tobacco 30 percent boys
  • 4 percent of girls under age of 13 compared to 10 percent of boys under 13 have had sexual intercourse
  • 5 percent verses 11 percent of boys under the are of 13 tried marijuana

 

So I ask you one more time, were is the outraged, why are we not taking to the streets demanding that we save our boys. There are some who say, it’s about time, that girls have, for far to long, lived in the shadows of boys. And others that would say, someone has to win, why not the girls.

It saddens me to see our country like this, and trust me, there are a lot of things that make me sad about this county, but that is for another blog. This one is about the missing cry, the lost tear for our sons.

Have we gotten to a point in our evolution were boys are tossed to the sideline, all in the name of feminism? Have we gotten to the point in our history were we are willing to let one segment of our population got the sidelines? In some respects we have already gotten there, we have already created a class of citizens that are disposable. We have taught our sons and daughters that life is of no real value, that we can “terminate” life anytime we choose, so why are we surprised that we are willing, as a nation, to allow our boys to die a slow death.

America is a nation that is on the verge of a great change. We are standing at the edge of the cliff that will tumble us over the edge in to a future that will forever alter our great nation.

We just dint arrive here, we have been walking towards this cliff for years, taking very small steps. But as of late, our step has quickened, we are taking giant steps towards the edge. For the first time in our history we are about to step over the edge… to plunge in to the abyss…

The problem of our boys, the numbers above show that we as a nation have turned in to a nation of micro-issues. We grab on to “hot” issues and “fix” them, often times at the expense of others. We look at the single issue ignoring the multiple issues that are connected to it, that surround it.

To fix the fact that girls lagged behind in school, we tossed the boy to the side. We set up programs that directly hurt boys in the name of helping girls. We looked at the singular and not seeing the multiple.

Someone has to loose right? Someone needs to pay for the inequities we created, so why not our boys?

Look at the men we are creating, they use, to be boys, look around you, and ask yourself, why do we have families with out fathers, were did all the men go? I’ll tell you, we educated it out of them, all in the name of creating a fair and level playing field. Problem is, it was not fair nor was it level. We are not paying the price for it.

read the numbers above one more time, look at the percentages and ask yourself, were is the outrage?

Paul

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

At this time it is more important than ever that people try to improve there skill sets. With more and more people out of jobs and less and less jobs available the difference between you and the other person could be as little as whom has taken more steps to improve there skill sets.

So what are skill sets, basically they are the little classes you take on Microsoft word, or how to navigate the web or even the soft skills like communication classes or seminars. These are the skill sets I am referring to, the soft skills, the personal development skill sets.

We can always learn something new, and we should always be in the process of learning. But in today’s job market it is imperative that we do so, we must have the upper hand on the others looking for that job. What makes us different than the other could be a simple as one online course. And yes there  are tons of free ones out there. Or it could be a seminar you attend, and yes there are free ones out there. But keep in mind you will need proof, so keep the event flyer and take good notes or even record it if you are allowed to. But even if no proof of attendance is offered list it and use it.

Look in your local papers, see what community groups or churches are offering, attend as many as you can and sigh up for the mailing list. In today’s market place many local groups are offering free interviewing classes or seminars on job hunting. Take them all, load up on the training and keep your mind active.

And if you are a training, and have a class that would be beneficial to others, consider offering it for free or low cost at your local church or community group, in this economically hard times, we all need to give a little.

I am offering my services, free of charge, to help others out, both here on my blog, but also live and in person. Why don’t you join me. What, you may ask, can you offer?

You say your not a public speaker, you have no useful talent to offer, hogwash I say!

We all have something to offer, maybe your good on the computer and can type fast, offer your services to type peoples resume’s and cover letters. Or maybe your a good sewer, offer to hem or fix someone’s interview outfit. Maybe you have a day care center, offer free day care for people going on interviews. We all have something to offer, even if its a listening ear, God gave us all gifts, and it is in times like these that we should share our gifts with others.

By the way, if you are interested in having me speak for your group please feel free to contact me at paul@staticplace.com , i would be happy to discuses the possibility with you.

 

Paul

Read Full Post »

Below is an article I read and I thought it would be very helpful to others, enjoy…

Paul

____________________________________________________________

7 Ways To Keep Going

By Therese J. Borchard
April 7, 2009

A woman who lives with chronic pain said to my mom the other day, “You can’t sit around and wait for the storm to be over. You’ve got to learn how to dance in the rain.”

That’s a perfect description of living with depression, or any chronic illness. But what do you do on the days you don’t think you can take the pain anymore? When you want so badly to be done with your life … or at least be done with the suffering? What do you do when anxiety and depression have spun a web around you so thick that you’re convinced you’ll be trapped forever in those feelings?

I’ve compiled a few tools for moving past that harrowing darkness, suggestions on how to emerge from a place of panic, and techniques on how to dance in the rain.

1. Escape from the pain.

Lately, when my thoughts turn dark, I’ve been telling myself that I don’t want another life … I want a reprieve from the pain. I’m usually at a loss on how to get there. I’m tired, frustrated, desperate, so my thoughts follow the path that has already been blazed throughout the years … and I fantasize about intoxication or some other destructive behavior that doesn’t require a lot of imagination.

How else can I escape … in a positive way? Instead of romanticizing about death or inebriation from booze, I can research new kayaking routes, bike paths, hiking trails, and camping sites. I can invest the time I lose in unproductive and dangerous thoughts into planning creative outings for myself and for the family that will give me/us the reprieve that I’m craving. I can be proactive about finding sitters for the kids so that my thoughts won’t revert back to “stinking thinking.”

2. Track your mood.

An essential piece of my recovery is keeping a mood journal. This helps me to identify certain patterns that emerge. As I said in my “Me on the Bad Days” post, depression can flare up seemingly out of the blue, like a thunderstorm. But often there are telltale signs that can clue me in as to why I’m feeling so fragile. You can catch these if you’ve been recording your mood over time.

3. Talk about it.

I can’t get a therapy appointment round the clock, so I had better invest in some friends that won’t tire of me telling them that my thoughts are turning to mush again.

Over the weekend I called two friends and my mom. “I’m going there again,” I explained. They know what THERE means … without my having to explain or justify. I don’t fully understand how gabbing heals, the scientific explanation of why venting does so much good, but I can surely attest to it, and confirm the connection between talking about something and feeling better. It’s like you’re a scared little kid in a lightning storm, and a neighbor, seeing that you’re locked out of your house, invites you inside and makes a cup of hot chocolate for you. Well, maybe it’s not that good, but it’s close, which is why our phone bill is way up this month.

4. Repeat: “I WILL Get Better”!

As I said in my video, “I WILL Get Better,” I think about my Aunt Gigi every time I wind up in the depression tunnel, and remember her repeating to me over the phone a few years back: “You will get better. Repeat that. You WILL get better.” Peter J. Steincrohn, M.D., author of “How to Stop Killing Yourself” wrote: “Faith is a powerful antidote against illness. Keep repeating – and believing: I WILL get well. If you believe, you help your doctor and yourself.” And this paragraph from William Styron’s “Darkness Visible” always reassures me:

If depression had no termination, then suicide would, indeed, be the only remedy. But one need not sound the false or inspirational note to stress the truth that depression is not the soul’s annihilation; men and women who have recovered from the disease–and they are countless–bear witness to what is probably its only saving grace: it is conquerable.

5. Take baby steps … a day at a time.

On mornings that I wake up with that nauseating knot of anxiety in my stomach, everything seems overwhelming. Getting myself to the bathroom so that I can brush my teeth feels seems like a triathlon in August. So I don’t attempt the triathlon. I only have to worry about getting my left foot down on the ground. And then my right one. And then I have to stand.

I’ll look at my to-do list and cross off two-thirds of it. “What on this list do I absolutely HAVE to do?” I say so myself. Everything else can wait. And then I start with the first thing, and do the first mini-movement that I need to do in order to accomplish that. If it’s getting Katherine dressed, that means 1. Finding Katherine. (That’s harder than it sounds.) 2. Picking out an outfit. (Ditto.) 3. Helping her out of her nightgown and into her clothes. (That’s where my nervous system almost shuts down.) And so on. Each item on the list can be broken down into a dozen mini-steps.

6. Distract yourself.

Some days I’m just not worth much. All I can do is distract myself … to keep myself from thinking about how awful I feel. Just like Fr. Joe carved figurines out of soap when he was depressed, and Priscilla made jewelry to keep her mind off of her anxiety, I will try to do anything to keep my brain occupied and away from my hurt, sort of like I did when I was in labor: baking chocolate-chip cookies, looking through old pictures, listening to Beethoven and Mozart, watching a comedy, swimming, running, biking, or hiking through the woods. (I didn’t do all of that in labor, though.)

7. Get out your self-esteem file.

For the past few days I’ve been carrying around letters from my self-esteem file in my pocket like a baby blanket. Some people have told me that my self-esteem must be shallow if I have to rely on praise from other people. Maybe it is. But I have to start somewhere, and anyone who has sat in that panic place where you want to end it all, knows that it’s virtually impossible at that time to come up with a list of your own strengths. So you have to believe what other people say.

Return to EverydayHealth.com

Therese J. Borchard writes the daily Beliefnet.com blog Beyond Blue (voted by Psych Central as one of the Top 10 Depression Blogs) and moderates Group Beyond Blue, the Beliefnet Community online support group for depression. Her memoir “Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes” will be released in January of 2010. Subscribe to Beyond Blue here or visit her at www.ThereseBorchard.com.

Read Full Post »