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Posts Tagged ‘stop’

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

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I love to read, I read books, magazines, newspapers and anything else I can find to read. I love to read different types or styles from Stephen King to Bishop Fulton Sheen. Give me a Catholic book, magazine or

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"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."

Aristotle

Stop and think about that for a few seconds, excellence is not an act but a habit… This leads to the logical conclusion that excellence can be and in-fact is  a learned action. Like all habits, good and bad, we must learn to perform the action.

The problem is we have associated the word habit with a negative. Think about it, smoking, over eating, drugs, drinking, all are habits and all are negative. How often do you hear someone state that they have a reading habit or an exercising habit or any other positive act as a habit.

But Aristotle knew the truth, he understands the human nature, any act, be it positive or negative, is a learned act. So if one can learn to smoke than one can learn not to (I know this because I have done both). If one can learn to speak poor English, than one can learn proper English. If one can learn to scam others than they can learn to give to others.

Aristotle’s statement did not give economic status as a prerequisite to creating excellence. In other words he did not state that a person of a lower class can not achieve excellence, he just simple stated that it is a habit.

If we truly believe that all humans are created equal, that logic states that all have the same opportunity to create positive habits.

So start today, create a new positive habit and make it a habit to refer to positive things as a habit, such as I am making in a habit to read more positive books, or I am making it a habit to eat healthy. Make new habits, one at a time, that will change your life for the better.

 

Paul

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Below is an article I read and I thought it would be very helpful to others, enjoy…

Paul

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7 Ways To Keep Going

By Therese J. Borchard
April 7, 2009

A woman who lives with chronic pain said to my mom the other day, “You can’t sit around and wait for the storm to be over. You’ve got to learn how to dance in the rain.”

That’s a perfect description of living with depression, or any chronic illness. But what do you do on the days you don’t think you can take the pain anymore? When you want so badly to be done with your life … or at least be done with the suffering? What do you do when anxiety and depression have spun a web around you so thick that you’re convinced you’ll be trapped forever in those feelings?

I’ve compiled a few tools for moving past that harrowing darkness, suggestions on how to emerge from a place of panic, and techniques on how to dance in the rain.

1. Escape from the pain.

Lately, when my thoughts turn dark, I’ve been telling myself that I don’t want another life … I want a reprieve from the pain. I’m usually at a loss on how to get there. I’m tired, frustrated, desperate, so my thoughts follow the path that has already been blazed throughout the years … and I fantasize about intoxication or some other destructive behavior that doesn’t require a lot of imagination.

How else can I escape … in a positive way? Instead of romanticizing about death or inebriation from booze, I can research new kayaking routes, bike paths, hiking trails, and camping sites. I can invest the time I lose in unproductive and dangerous thoughts into planning creative outings for myself and for the family that will give me/us the reprieve that I’m craving. I can be proactive about finding sitters for the kids so that my thoughts won’t revert back to “stinking thinking.”

2. Track your mood.

An essential piece of my recovery is keeping a mood journal. This helps me to identify certain patterns that emerge. As I said in my “Me on the Bad Days” post, depression can flare up seemingly out of the blue, like a thunderstorm. But often there are telltale signs that can clue me in as to why I’m feeling so fragile. You can catch these if you’ve been recording your mood over time.

3. Talk about it.

I can’t get a therapy appointment round the clock, so I had better invest in some friends that won’t tire of me telling them that my thoughts are turning to mush again.

Over the weekend I called two friends and my mom. “I’m going there again,” I explained. They know what THERE means … without my having to explain or justify. I don’t fully understand how gabbing heals, the scientific explanation of why venting does so much good, but I can surely attest to it, and confirm the connection between talking about something and feeling better. It’s like you’re a scared little kid in a lightning storm, and a neighbor, seeing that you’re locked out of your house, invites you inside and makes a cup of hot chocolate for you. Well, maybe it’s not that good, but it’s close, which is why our phone bill is way up this month.

4. Repeat: “I WILL Get Better”!

As I said in my video, “I WILL Get Better,” I think about my Aunt Gigi every time I wind up in the depression tunnel, and remember her repeating to me over the phone a few years back: “You will get better. Repeat that. You WILL get better.” Peter J. Steincrohn, M.D., author of “How to Stop Killing Yourself” wrote: “Faith is a powerful antidote against illness. Keep repeating – and believing: I WILL get well. If you believe, you help your doctor and yourself.” And this paragraph from William Styron’s “Darkness Visible” always reassures me:

If depression had no termination, then suicide would, indeed, be the only remedy. But one need not sound the false or inspirational note to stress the truth that depression is not the soul’s annihilation; men and women who have recovered from the disease–and they are countless–bear witness to what is probably its only saving grace: it is conquerable.

5. Take baby steps … a day at a time.

On mornings that I wake up with that nauseating knot of anxiety in my stomach, everything seems overwhelming. Getting myself to the bathroom so that I can brush my teeth feels seems like a triathlon in August. So I don’t attempt the triathlon. I only have to worry about getting my left foot down on the ground. And then my right one. And then I have to stand.

I’ll look at my to-do list and cross off two-thirds of it. “What on this list do I absolutely HAVE to do?” I say so myself. Everything else can wait. And then I start with the first thing, and do the first mini-movement that I need to do in order to accomplish that. If it’s getting Katherine dressed, that means 1. Finding Katherine. (That’s harder than it sounds.) 2. Picking out an outfit. (Ditto.) 3. Helping her out of her nightgown and into her clothes. (That’s where my nervous system almost shuts down.) And so on. Each item on the list can be broken down into a dozen mini-steps.

6. Distract yourself.

Some days I’m just not worth much. All I can do is distract myself … to keep myself from thinking about how awful I feel. Just like Fr. Joe carved figurines out of soap when he was depressed, and Priscilla made jewelry to keep her mind off of her anxiety, I will try to do anything to keep my brain occupied and away from my hurt, sort of like I did when I was in labor: baking chocolate-chip cookies, looking through old pictures, listening to Beethoven and Mozart, watching a comedy, swimming, running, biking, or hiking through the woods. (I didn’t do all of that in labor, though.)

7. Get out your self-esteem file.

For the past few days I’ve been carrying around letters from my self-esteem file in my pocket like a baby blanket. Some people have told me that my self-esteem must be shallow if I have to rely on praise from other people. Maybe it is. But I have to start somewhere, and anyone who has sat in that panic place where you want to end it all, knows that it’s virtually impossible at that time to come up with a list of your own strengths. So you have to believe what other people say.

Return to EverydayHealth.com

Therese J. Borchard writes the daily Beliefnet.com blog Beyond Blue (voted by Psych Central as one of the Top 10 Depression Blogs) and moderates Group Beyond Blue, the Beliefnet Community online support group for depression. Her memoir “Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes” will be released in January of 2010. Subscribe to Beyond Blue here or visit her at www.ThereseBorchard.com.

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Ever notice how some people have to make a comment about something no matter what, you know the type, you give a presentation and they have to tell you how they can do it better, or where you went wrong. You write an article and they have to comment on it, even if they have no understanding of the article. It’s like a disease, one that forces them to prop themselves up by pushing others down. I have dealt with people like that, worked with them, have been friends with them and been in meetings with them. To me it truly is a sickness, and I pray that I don’t have it and will never get it.

People like this would tell God himself that he needed to work on his communication skills a little. The fact that they have to find something, anything really be it real or made-up to complain about, some way to belittle you is just odd to me. Now I will give my honest opinion concerning someone, if they ask me, but I would never make something up nor would I offer it with being asked, and depending on whom it is, and the time and place, I may not offer any insights. But others seem to think it is always the correct time and place regardless to whom they are talking to.

Now please understand that I see nothing wrong with stating where someone may have failed, were they may have slipped up, but only if it is useful to them. Why bother to state a failure if it will serve no positive outcome? This has always bothered me, from elementary school until now, and will most likely until I die. But now I feel a little better, I have gotten it off my chest, for the time being…

So the next time you feel the urge to let someone know they did a bad job on that report or speech, stop and ask yourself the following questions:

1.       Did they ask me to comment?

2.       Will it serve a positive outcome?

3.       Am I “just looking for” a fault, or is it real?

Before you speak, stop, think and take a deep breath… Remember one day it may be you that is getting the same treatment…

Paul

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Rest

Life needs to slow down, we all need to learn to walk a little bit slower, stop and take the time to see what is truly there, stop to smell the world, and to take in all we can.

This life of ours is short, time here on earth is limited, yet we seem to feel that we must rush and do all we can before we pass on. How silly of us all. Sure we may “experience” more things but truly did we? By packing in 10 things in one day, did we truly enjoy anything?  

To slow down and do only 3 or 4 of the 10 things, we will have time to enjoy, to process and take it all in. What’s the rush? Does it really matter if you fail to do one thing on your to do list, will your life be any less? I think not, I thing we trick ourselves in to thinking we need to remain in motion, but what is wrong with a little rest?

Use this holiday season to slow down, to rest, to regroup. Take time to enjoy the good cheer of other and learn to relax in a world that is going full tilt.

Paul

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