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Posts Tagged ‘team’

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

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bildeCAPI4JRM Yesterday the City of Detroit mourned the loss of a great man, Ernie Harwell, the voice of summer. Ernie was the broadcast announcer for the Detroit Tigers for years. His voice on the radio meant that summer was here.

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Well I did it, this pass week I entered a new part of my life. One part I entered kicking and screaming the there I entered smiling.

Last week marked a new era for me, one that I created, and one that, if I could do over again I would have hoped for a different outcome, but I would have done everything the same.

As I have written I am currently in a bankruptcy, and it is now official, the courts excepted the plan. This is a good thing, it means I can stop worrying about weather the courts will adjust the plan. But it also meant that I must surrender my current car, well Jeep Commander to be specific, and get a used car with no payments. I did this, I am now the proud owner of a 1994 Jeep Grand Cherokee, one that over all is in good condition, it needs work, but she runs. By the way, this was the kicking and screaming part… I was not happy about giving up my Jeep, I like it and I wanted to keep it, just pay it off and not get a new car. But the courts had a different take on it all. Such is life.

When my niece saw the new Jeep she asked what I named it, now for the record I do not name my cars, she was being a smart butt, but after she left I thought about it. What would I name this new Jeep, this car that is now part of my new life…

The second thing that happened this past week was of my own doing, I entered in to is with a smile, I canceled cable, I went and purchased a converter box and over the air antenna and canceled cable. This has been something I have been thinking about for over a year, but each time I would decide to do it, I would come up with a million reasons not to. But this weekend I said to hell with the million reasons not to! And I went and did it, in fact tonight the cable company is coming to pick up there equipment.  Now I must confess that my nephew was not to happy with me, but he will get over it. And yes I will miss some of my shows I like to watch, but I will survive. I have a few “bugs” to work out of the system yet, but all in all, no problems so far. My next goal is to purchase a free to air dish or powerful outside antenna. This basically allows me to view any free to the air ways TV station, and there are tons of them. But that will have to wait, they are a little bit of money.

Also this past week I had a meeting with my new sales team for my company. STATIC  Solutions (my company) has just released its first product (as you have read in this blog). So to market it I needed a sales team, and now I have one.

So to review my week:

  • New Car
  • No Cable
  • New Sales team

A week chop full of changes… So back to my nieces question, what is the name of my Jeep, well based on my week, and based on what is ahead of me I would have to say her name would have to be Phoenix. You know the bird that burns up and is reborn from the ashes. Well in a way that’s what I feel like, I feel like I am burning up and starting to be reborn from the ashes. So Phoenix it is, my goal is to fix this Jeep up making sure she is safe and replacing or fixing what ever I have to on her, and to place on her the name Phoenix.

Rebirth is hard and I am not going to lie to you, it was extremely hard for me to give up my Jeep Commander but in the end I had to and in truth I am sort of glad, a lesson has been learned, and this lesson was one that I needed to learn.  So with my cables house and my new 1994 Jeep along with all the other changes I will freely choose and the ones that will be forced upon me, I will emerge from the the ashes as a new creation, stronger and better if not because if it all, at least because of in spite of it all.

 

Paul

From Wikipedia: A phoenix is a mythical bird with a colorful plumage and a tail of gold and scarlet (or purple, blue, and green according to some legends[1]). It has a 500 to 1,000 year life-cycle, near the end of which it builds itself a nest of myrrh twigs that then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix or phoenix egg arises, reborn anew to live again. The new phoenix is destined to live as long as its old self. In some stories, the new phoenix embalms the ashes of its old self in an egg made of myrrh and deposits it in the Egyptian city of Heliopolis (sun city in Greek).

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This was sent to me from a friend in India, not sure who the original author is, he never stated it… But I thought I would share it…

Positive words.bmpI remember my dad teaching me the power of language  at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success. 

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn’t realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy’s mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad’s voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy’s mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don’t fall!" And Tammy did. fall.     

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined.

Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly. This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can’t visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that.

For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn’t get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don’t drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.     

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn’t. I’ll never make it pro, but I’m now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.           

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren’t paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.   

The point is made.         

If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won’t. Either they will be at the party or they won’t. I’m brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try.

Do they think I don’t know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I’ll try" come out of my mouth unless I’m teaching this concept in a seminar. 

If you "try" and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can’t make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I’m not sure if I will be at your party or not. I’ve got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."             

People respect honesty. So remove the word "try" from your vocabulary. My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.           

These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.         

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, " I’m fat. Nobody will like me. I’ll try this diet. I’m not good enough. I’m so stupid. I’m broke, etc. etc."   

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.   

Notice when you or other people use them. 

But: Negates any words that are stated before it.               

Try: Presupposes failure.     

If: Presupposes that you may not.   

Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.

Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen.

Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen (and implies guilt.)         

Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.             

Can’t/Don’t: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.       

Examples:           

Toxic phrase: "Don’t drop the ball!"   

Likely result: Drops the ball     

Better language: "Catch the ball!"   

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn’t watch so much television."             

Likely result: Watches more television.   

Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"   

Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself

using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

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Key #7: A Team Sport

Find support, friends, family, Church or Community. We are people who need others to help us along our way

Nothing is ever done in a void, everything you do effect other around you, so why not involve them in the process of changing your life?

We all need a support system, someone we can lean on when times get hard, and they will! Nothing,and I mean nothing good for you is ever easy. If it was we wouldn’t need blogs like this!

Having a friend to help you on your walk of change is a blessing, it gives you someone you can cry to, or someone to share the joy of victory with. They will help to keep you on track, and if they are a good friend, they will be hard on you!

Support from family and friends does not make you a weak person, rather it make you stronger, you are allowing others to help you, but you are also admitting that you need the help, it’s good for the ego.

Community is also a very important link to success, we all have a need to feel excepted and needed, so allow the community to deliver this need to you. Join groups and clubs, volunteer your time to a worthy cause, or find a support group to help you change.

But I believe that our faith life is the most important link to success, find a church or place of worship to help you calm yourself, and center yourself. Nothing is more humbling then remembering that you are just a small part of the cosmos, but also that you are loved just because you are!

Paul

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