Posts Tagged ‘yard’

Frustration is a very powerful emotion and one that can wipe you out. I know, I have been dealing with a lot of it as of late. The frustration of trying to do what is right, the frustration of dealing with people who do not act or react they way you expect them too or the way you need them too. Frustration over just being frustrated.  It’s a never ending stream of energy that seems to just slap the living @#$%# out of me, and too tell you the truth, I am ready for it to just all end.

Last night I was exhausted, the night before the same thing, and the same with the night prior to that one. I can’t remember what day it was, but it was last week, on my way home from work, stopped at a red light, I dozed off, kinda scary stuff. Now understand I am in bed by 10pm most nights, never later that 11pm ad up at 6am, work until 3pm. So it’s not like I am burning the candle at both ends, it’s just he stress and frustration of my life at this very moment.

So what can I do, how can I cope… Easy, I just do, I allow myself time to vent, I allow my self time to just think. For example last night I need a gallon of milk so I walked to the local store, leaving the car in the drive way (by the way the car is one of my frustration points). The walk allowed me time to think, time to work out the hidden energy that is wiping me out day in and day out.

I find moments of peace moments of relaxation, not many, but I find them. In my small back yard I have a pond, often times I will sit out by the pond, listen to the water fall, and just let myself go. the pond gives me many hours of joy, just puttzing  around, cleaning it, feeding the fish and turtles, just allowing myself to be.

It is important that we find theses small moments in life, times were we allow the outside world to slip away, as long as we always come back to reality. Notice that I never stated I go to the bar to drink, or I sit by the pond with a case of beer or a bottle of bourbon. Yes I do like a cold beer every now and than, and a good glass of wine is always nice, but I do not use them as escapes from reality. I would rather use nature and or a good book.

My frustration levels will go down, I will start to feel a normality return to my life, once I figure out how I can once again control my life (yes I am a control freak). But until than I will use the little escapes I have discovered for myself, a good book, a nice walk, sitting by my pond or one of several others. Each allowing me just a moment of calm each taking my mind off the current situation, allowing my subconscious mind time to process all the @#@# going on in my life. And I know that one day soon (soon is a relative word) the world will be right once again.


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Working off of yesterdays blog about how we treat boys in this nation, I thought I would dive in to the problem a little more.

If we look at the boys being raised, how we as a society send such a mixed message to them, how parents want to raise soft and tender boy, boys with a heart. We want to raise boys as if they are not boys, we want to remove the boyness from boys.

The whole “pop” psychology thing of being in touch with your feelings and the how does that make you feel questioning of boys has, effectively, removed boyhood from boys. We have created a whole generation of boys that truly do not know how to be boys. Look around you, look at what our so called boys are doing.

One of the true signs that we have ventured to far off course is the simple fact The Pocket Dangerous Book for Boys: Things to Do By Conn Iggulden, Hal Igguldenthat we even have to talk about how boys should act. Look in the book stores, there are tons of books for parents on how to raise your boys and there is even a book for boys on how to be a boy…. Come on! Now I am not the most athletic person, truth be told, I really only like Baseball, and that passion only runs so deep in me. I sucked at playing sports as a boy, but, and I repeat, but no one had to tell me how to act as a boy, I was able to figure that all out on my own, thank you very much! Now some will say that i did not do a very good job at it, that my adventure as a boy lacked in some areas, and that would most likely be true. But I stand by the fact that I did not need a book nor did my parents need a book to tell me how to act as a boy, it was instinctive to me, my parents did not try to raise me any other way, they did not try to make me sensitive (I was by nature) nor did they try to make me sporty, they let me grow up who I was and treaded me as a boy.

What’s that mean, treaded me as a boy…

I was encouraged to play out side, to get messy to climb trees to make forts to play cops and robbers to use my imagination to create exciting new worlds for me to explore, to get holes in my jeans and to do all the other things that boys do. Being a boy  is an adventure in misadventures, it’s being allowed to fall and being told to get back up again and do it all over, and if you fall again, well that’s life. It being allowed to make mistakes and to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, to learn from experience that you just don’t say that to little girls.

Creating new worlds with only a stick from the big oak tree in your back yard and your imagination, that is boyhood at it’s best, play dates and structured time (or at least to much of it) is in opposition to boyhood, it removes the opportunity for spontaneity of a boy, creating a programmable boy and not a living boy.

What have we done to our boys? How did we get to this point? All in the name of woman’s liberation, in our efforts to create equality we have dummied  downed our boys, stripped them of boyness to create a non-gender rather than celebrating the two unique genders we have.

We need to get back to the basics, boys are boys and girls are girls, that’s all there is to it. We are different, one is not better than the other, just different from each other. Now here is were I will get in trouble, but such is life. There are something’s that boys do better than girls and girls do better than boys. There are some actions that are all boy and some that are all girl. That’s just the way it is, sorry but we are not the same, we are equal in the fact that we are humans, that we are created by God, but our equality does not translate in to sameness, we are not the same, we are two different creations with two very different and distinct callings and skill sets. It’s just nature, a fact of life, try as we may (and have over that last 40 years) we cannot make boys in to girls, nor girls in to boy. We are separate genders and we can not make a new non-gender to fit our own selfish needs.

It’s time we accept the fact that boys are boys and girls are girls…


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When we were kids, running around in circles was something fun to do. We would run and run until we got so dizzy we would fall down. And sometimes we would just run for no reason at all, just because we could. I often think about the simplicity of youth, when I see a child running and smiling and laughing, or I see them playing army or cops and robbers, or any simple game like that. Games that took no real thought, games that just happened or just are. The laughter fills the air and the joy and simplicity of youth come flooding back to me, they fill my being with a longing to once again enjoy a simpler time.

I remember playing a game when I was a youth, my friend and I would pretend that when we climbed the fence in my back yard we were transported in to a different time, the past. Our youthful eyes would see things not as they were, but as they should have been. The vividness of it was real, the imagination took over and our city block was no longer in 1970’s but was transported back to the old west, or even to pre-historic times. We would crawl through the jungles and run from the bad guys and when we had finished our mission, or need to use the bathroom, we would jump the fence to be transported back to our time, knowing that at anytime we could reenter our own little world by simple jumping the fence in my back yard. I can still see us playing this game, can still feel the summer sun on my face and smell the smells of the city. It was a magical time; it was a time of wonder and amazement. It was our time.

So what brings up the trip down memory lane, why do I bother you with images from my youth? Basically to illustrate one simple point, as we grow we seem to lose the ability to allow ourselves the freedom to enjoy life. We place demands on ourselves, we allow society to dictate our actions. The simplicity of youth is lost on the complexity of adulthood. How sad!

I attended a seminar on stress, the speaker had written a book that basically said laugh it off, a thought process I agree with 100%. But one of the things the truly got my attention was how she dealt with rush hour traffic. Her ride home would sometimes take 2 hours, she lived in California, so the drive was long and the heat could get to you. Her way of dealing with the honking of horns, was to take out a bottle of bubbles, and blow bubbles out her window. Imagine seeing a 40 year old woman blowing bubbles out her car window. I can hear the comments now, “Look at the grown woman” “How childish” “What the @#$%@” and so on.

But that was the point, what good does it do her to honk her horn, cuss others out or get all frustrated and mad, why not blow bubbles, it does as much good as anything else. And besides, it made some of the other drives smile a little, and maybe transported them back to their childhood, if only for a moment. I was amazed and loved the idea, now in truth I have never done that, but living in the Detroit area, I have no need to, horns are not honked here too often and I am never in a traffic jam for 2 hours. But I still love the idea, and it makes me smile when I remember it.

I think we all need to learn how to transport ourselves back to the simplicity of our youth, we need to remember that life can be simple, and that sometimes we just need to run for the simple reason that we can.

As for me, I think I will head out to my back yard and jump the fence to be transported back the my youth for a little time, don’t worry, I won’t stay long, I am sure I will need a restroom break and will have to jump back before long.


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