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Posts Tagged ‘child’

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

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Just a few random thoughts and views expressed here…

The heat wave of 2010 is here, and in Michigan we have been feeling it, with the temps in the upper 90’s but feeling like the 100’s. It’s been a  hot few days, but it looks like it is over, for now. The stupidity of some people never stops amazing me, just the other day on the news was a story of a grandmother who left her three year old grandson in the car, in a

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Yesterday, I will admit it, I watched the services for the King of Pop… I had to see it for myself, and all in all , it was well done. But it does bring up some questions that we as a society must answer.

The media and fans and even some nonfans have turned Michael Jackson in to a saint a world peace maker a ambassador for race relations, and well the truth be told he was a troubled man with many issues.

I too think that he was a very gifted and multi talented person, and I agree that he brought happiness to the world through his gift. And yes he should be praised for this, but the out pouring of grief for this man, whom most of us did not know on a personal level is, well jest just say its a tad bit overboard.

King of Pop or not, Mr. Jackson had issues to deal with. In the limelight or not, he is human and should be held to the same standard as all others are help too. It seems that we often times forgive the sins of the famous with all to much ease. Lets look at a few of his:

  • Accused of child molestation
  • Drug use
  • Self hatred

I do not list them to be disrespectful, but to point out that MJ was not a saint, as most of us are not. That we must be willing to accept him as a whole being. He was not a monster as some would like to make him to be, but nor is he a saint as others would like us to believe, but what he was, was human, like all of us are.

To counter balance the short list of his sins, lets look at his humanity, he was:

  • A Son
  • A Brother
  • An Uncle
  • A friend
  • A Child of God’s
  • An Entertainer like no other
  • Listed in the Gunnies book of world records for the Pop Star to give the most to charity
  • and lets us not for get a Father

To be fair to him we need to list all his traits, good and bad, but we mustalways keep in mind that he, like us all, was human. Mr. Jackson was a frail little boy locked up in a mans body, the issues run deep with in his soul and in some ways we all have a little responsibility for this, we as fans place him up high, create a god of him than we abandon him in his hour of need, we play to his vulnerabilities to fulfill our needs, leaving him empty and spent. We treat our stats as our own personal play things and disregard them when we are done with them. Mr. Jackson, like all of us was given the gift of free will, he chose to do the drugs and other acts of self pity and hatred, but lest us not forget that we all, in someway, enabled him to do so.

You may not be a Jackson fan, so you may be saying, “Not Me”, but I would say to that, “Yes You” because if you did not do it for Mr. Jackson you did it for some other star. Indirectly we all all played a roll in this, in someway we all enabled him, in some way we all can take a small bit of reasonability for his demise just like in some way we all can take a bit of responsibility for his rise to stardom.

 

RIP Michael… May God Bless your soul…

Paul

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Well, today is the first day if feel ok in a few days. I have been suffering with a sinus cold and it has been kicking my butt. Monday was spent at home sleeping the day away and trying to breath, not a fun day, but such is life. Tuesday was a little better, but still much of the same, just less sleep. And today, well I can breathe a bit better, but not 100% yet.

I hate being sick, it’s such a waste of time!

I know people who love to be sick, they love the attention they receive, they crave it and I believe they make themselves sick to achieve that end. I find it kind of sad that someone would make themselves sick, either mentally or physically, what a sad commentary on their life. Now I know some people are already shaking their heads saying that the poop person is not mentally or emotionally stable, and that is why. I was that for a small percentage I would agree, and I mean a small percentage, no more than 1%. No I do not have data to back this up, but what I do have is my personal sampling of family and friends.

The ability for the human mind to control the body is unlimited, we as humans use only 10% of our mind powers, only 10%, a small fraction if the ability of our human mind. So don’t tell me that that the mind cannot control our physical well being. It can and it does!

We have seen this countless times, a mother lifts a car off her child, a child survives in the cold for days without food or water, a father walks hundreds of miles in the wilderness to find help for his family. All acts of the human mind controlling the physical body, allowing it to perform above and beyond its normal abilities. If it can do that, it can also bring on physical discomforts and ailments. The mind is a great mystery and creation of God, who are we to limit its power.

What I find amazing is the ability for the mind to phantom such deception. The ability to control the human and not the other way around, they allow their minds to make them sick, to give them an ailment that will cause the reaction they desire. It truly is a sad condition; one that leaves the human body is shambles. The upside to all this is, if we have the ability to make ourselves sick, we than have the same ability to make ourselves well again. And we have seen this happen as well. People who have made themselves sick to achieve a certain reaction often times will “heal” themselves if the reaction is not achieved, and then move on to a new ailment in hopes of achieving the desired reaction.

The power of the mind is awesome, but can be misused at times. We have a responsibility to care for our mind, and in return it will care for us.

Paul

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Last night I finished a book that I feel everyone needs to read. The book is about a child that is abused by his father. The story is written in an almost poetic way. The words seemed to move on the page, allowing the reader to get lost in the waves of emotions. The power of each wave taking over the sands to reshape them in to new experiences. The undercurrent tugs at your soul, pulling it in new directions and leaving the reader out of breath.

“The Butterfly Garden” is truly stunning, and life changing for all who read it. The story is sad and uplifting at the same time. As a reader I was compelled to turn each page, to discover new possibilities about myself. The story is every-ones story, yet it is his story. We all may not have been abused, but each of our lives have brought challenges to overcome.

Coming of Age stories interest me, I love to read about the change that happens the little moments that spark the fire of change, and this book, this story is one such story. The change that takes place from the first page to the last is a coming of age story for all, is shows how that spark can turn in to a fire and the fire can turn in to a new life.

Paul

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Control

control…

Control…

 CONTROL…

Something we all seek, something we all have and lack at the same time. The concept is powerful and the word itself can strike fear in people. CONTROL…

People have killed for it, and died because of it. Wars have been waged because of it, and battles lost because of lack of it.

CONTROL…

To be granted control, means to have great responsibility, to take control, means to remove responsibility for others, Slight difference, but a major point.  To freely give or forcefully take control determents the type of control you have. And defines the type of person you are.

CONTROL…

We all want to control something’s, such as our day, our jobs our lives. And in-of-its self that’s not a bad thing. To have control over your self is good, in fact needed to survive; it’s when we allow our need to control to spills over in to our daily dealing with others; It when the need to control, starts to control our actions with others.

CONTROL…

To understand control a little better let’s look at simple examples of control, and the positive or negative effects of it.

To control the actions of your small child:

 (No! Don’t touch that it’s hot) is positive control, a control that is expected and needed. It is a control that teaches and protects the ones who cannot teach nor protect themselves.

(I don’t want to tell them what to do, I want them to learn for themselves) is a negative control, a control that is underling, one that is in the shadows of allowing them to do as they wish. This control, a passive control is damaging and dangerous, it removes any direct responsibility from you and the ones you are to protect.

To control an adolescent:

(No! Don’t touch that it’s hot) is a negative control, you are removing the adolescent’s ability to learn from their own actions, you are. You are removing the responsibility from the adolescent and placing it on to you. Creating a dependent situation that places the adolescent in a negative situation, one where they are automatically at a disadvantage.

(I don’t want to tell them what to do, I want them to learn for themselves) is a positive control, one that places you in a passive roll, one that allows the adolescent to learn and grow based on their own actions, and not actions placed on them. This form of control, allows the parent (in this example) to influence from afar, giving advice but ultimately allowing the youth to decide for themselves.

 

NOTE: Please understand that I understand that in each example there are always exceptions. And yes sometimes you have to remove control from one and take it on yourself, based on situations at hand. The examples above are only examples, nothing more, and nothing less.

I used the example of youth, children only because I find the examples easier to conceptualize, but the same basic principals applies to adults, at times we need to say, HOT! Don’t touch and at times we need to say, go ahead and burn yourself.

The type of control we apply or don’t apply effects outcomes of the situations we are in, sometimes no control is exactly the type of control we need for a given situation.

The hard part, for controlling people, like me, is to know when to back off and when not to. The same can be said for non controlling people, they need to learn when to apply control and when not to. Take the TV show, Supper Nanny, a perfect example of parent s that need to know when to apply active control, as opposed to passive control. The idea that a child controls the adult is wild at best and sickening at its worst.

So today, decide to take control of life, of yourself and situations around you, but remember that sometimes taking control means handing it over to others, releasing it from yourself.

Paul

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How do we become so good at convincing ourselves that we can’t do something? We seem to be able to tell ourselves we can’t do something, or we are not good enough or smart enough, the list of put downs and hold backs can go on for ever. But it seems we have few word of encouragement to offer ourselves.

 

It’s a learnt trait; society teaches us that if we talk ourselves up, we are big headed, to full of ourselves and just plain not fun to be around.

 

 To some extent that is true, there is a fine line between confidence and being conceded. I am not talking about the extremes; I am talking about a healthy relationship with your inner self.

 

We all have ambitions in life, we all want to achieve something great, but very few of us do so. What makes the achievers different then the non-achievers? In a word, outlook, there out look on life makes all the difference.

 

If out outlook on life is positive, we will believe in ourselves, our inner space will be content and feel as if it can accomplish anything. The words of the outside world mean very little to a person who is content with the inner self.

 

The ability to filter through the negative world is an innate ability, one that we have seemed to have lost over the years. Children have this ability, which is why we say children are resilient; they have the ability to “bounce” back, the ability to filter out negative input.

 

Case and point, most children, if left to their own devices, will work through any negative environment, such as a funeral. Sit and watch them, if you ever get the chance, and see them smiling and playing, enjoying life. They have created a reality of happiness, of positiveness  . Yes they feel sorrow, but they also know life goes on, they have an inner knowledge that they still exists. They can filter through the negative inputs and process them as positiveness  ; an ability that we as adults seem to have lost.

 

The outlook of a child, for the most part, is positive, even in the worst environments. Studies have been preformed and the outcome of each study is consistent, children in poverty find, and or create an internment of contentment, one of positiveness. They work there environment to there advantage.

 

Please do not miss understand me, I am not suggesting that the environment has no effect on them in a negative way, because we know it does, and we have studies that also prove that point. What I am trying to establish is that we, as humans have an innate ability to deal with and process negative environments in to positive outlooks. That the human race was created to survive, and to prosper, but somewhere along they way, as we have grown up as a human race, we have lost it.

 

It is by no mistake that Jesus tells us to be as children if we wish to enter in to the kingdom, Jesus knows that the heart mind and soul of a child is still pure, able to process and see the good in all, including the good in self.

 

If I was to venture a guess as to why or how we have lost this innate ability, I would have to say it is because as the human race has grown, and life has become easier, we have grown softer.

 

Many articles have been written about this very topic, in the UK they have even gone as far as to create a government task force to look in to how we have “soften” or kids, how we are creating a generation of youth that will not be able to deal with stress or negative forces in life. The over protecting of our youth has gone to extremes of sheltering them.

 

Some examples of this are:

  •  In some US schools kick ball has been band, because some kids will lose, and they are afraid of damaging the child’s psyche
  • In Australia Santa can no longer say “HoHoHo” because it is a negative term for woman, he must now say “HaHaHa”
  • In the UK hanging plants are no longer allowed in some towns, for fear they might fall and hit someone, or someone may run in to them

 

The list can be endless, but the UK has not formed a government office to look in to the hundreds of laws create to protect there children. They have, based on research, and discovered that they are creating whole generations of “scared” children. Non risk takers, and for a society, and the human race as a whole, this is a very dangerous and scary prospect.  

 

Risk taking is an important part of growing up, and an important part of creating that positive outlook on life that we as adults seem to lack.

 

We need to relearn how to look inside of ourselves, to find the magic spot in our being, that one spot that tells us “YES YOU CAN”. We need to rediscover out youthful positive outlook, and tap back in to it.

 

If we desire to leave our children and our grandchildren in a world full of possibilities, we need to see them for ourselves. We can not leave behind that which we do not have. We can not see the world as negative, nor see ourselves as such, and expect our children to learn any different.

 

The human race has the ability to create an environment that fosters positiveness, one that allows risk, and even encourages them. We are resilient people, created from goodness, and created for goodness; we just seem to have forgotten that.

 

So the next time you tell yourself “I can’t do this” remember you are not just telling yourself that, but you are tell the future generations that they can not do it either.

We leave behind our legacy by what we do and what we don’t do. So choose wisely, and consider the ramifications of your actions and your inactions. Choose to leave behind positive and uplifting energy rather then negative and putdown energy.

 

It starts with you! So make today the first day of “Yes I Can” and “Yes I will”

 

Paul

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The folloing was sent to me in an email, I am not sure who the original auther is, but I found it very profound and wanted to share it with you. I will list them here, and over the next few blogs I will break each one down (The break downs will be my own personal interpitation of the meaning).

  

  

  

The Best things to give:

  1. You’re Enemy: Forgiveness
  2. You’re Opponent: Tolerance
  3. You’re Friend: Your Heart
  4. You’re Child: A Good Exalmple
  5. You’re Father: Deference
  6. You’re Mother: Conduct to make her proud of you
  7. Yourself: Respect
  8. To all Men: Charity

I have this list in my Daily Planner, and see it everyday, hoping to have it inspier me, and help me to grow in to a person worth of God’s love, now I want to share it with you!

Paul

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