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Posts Tagged ‘emotions’

Note: Cross posted from STATIC Youth’s Weblog.

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Stock Photo of the Consitution of the United S...

Image by Rosie O’Beirne via Flickr

Ok, so here it is, I have been listening to talk radio on the way into work, and the big topic The Arizona law on illegal’s.  The Catholic Bishops seem to think the law is inhuman and some how degrading. The liberal bleeding hearts feel that the law is unjust and takes away the

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Pride is a very strong emotion, one that has driven people to extremes. We have witnessed the pride of a man (or a woman) bring them down in a blaze of fire, and we have seen pride rebuild a man (or a woman) from the deepest despair life can offer.

Why is this, what makes one emotions so powerful and at the opposite ends of the spectrum.

This I can not answer, but I can offer my own insights on the topic. Anyone who reads my blogs an a regular basis will know that I often times return to the subject of EGO (Edging God Out), well I think Pride has a small place in EGO.

The pride that causes harm, pride that drives a man to extremes is a pride that is unhealthy.

To have pride in your work, in your life and in yourself and family is a very healthy, and necessary thing. It is when that pride overrides all, when that pride becomes the end all to all that is when it enters the EGO, that is when it becomes a destructive force, not only in your life but all around you.

When we feel that what we do is more important that others, or when we think that our actions are defining moments, when we place ourselves at the very center of life, the EGO has began its destruction.

How do we know when pride becomes EGO, were is that line? I think we all have a different thresh hold, but I also think we all know, internally, were it is.

For me, EGO is the evil part of my being, it is the original sin of Adam and Eve, it was there EGO’s that told them to eat of the fruit, to want to become god’s themselves. Pride, the feeling of being more than they were.

We need to be proud, we need that feeling and that emotion, but we need to control it, and not allow it to take over, when it takes over, that is when pride becomes EGO, a destructive force.

I am very proud of a the volume of work I have created, the programs I have developed but I am also very aware that there is always something more, something better out there, that what I have created is good, maybe even great, and I take great pride in the work, but I know I am only one of many. I will not allow my EGO to take hold of it, I do not, for one minute, think that what I have created is anything more than what it is.

Pride and EGO often times share the same fine line. It is easy to step on way or the other, Pride becoming EGO and EGO becoming pride. Careful where you step, look and see were you are headed and say on the side of pride.

Paul

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Last night I had a intimate chat with my nephew, he is a 17 year old young man who originates from Cameroon Africa. He has only been in this country for a few years, and I have only known him for 1.5 years or so, well maybe closer to 2 years now, but what ever. In truth he is not my natural nephew, I knew his dad, not very well, through the church I am youth minister at. His son was in the youth group, and to make a long story short, to help him and his boy out, i let his son move in with me, so now he is my nephew. But back to that chat.

Last night at dinner he is usually very quiet, and does not offer up much information, not much more that a grunt or two. But some of that is typical teen age communication but with him it’s also a cultural thing, he was taught to be seen not heard. And that’s what he tries to do, over the last year or so I have worked very hard to get him to open up, to talk to me and other adults more freely. It’s been a hard road, but it has had it’s moments, like last night.

the topic of our conversation is of no real concern for the point of this blog, what is of concern is the importance of intimate conversation. We have gotten away from intimacy in general, our conversations are done via text messaging on our cell phones, one of the latest trends is to text your boy friend or girl friend that you are breaking up. My nephew asked a young lady out via a text message. I was not happy and told him so, to me, asking someone out is an intimate act and should be done face to face, or at least over the phone, voice to voice. The ability to text someone removes the direct contact, removes the personal touch. It makes it easer to have no investment in to the relationship. Sure there are times that texting is called for, or Instant Messaging (IMing) someone one. I IM people all the time, unless it is important, unless it calls for intimacy than it is a face to face contact.

The body often times speaks more that the voice, we can learn more for the language the body is using than the language the voice is using.  With text messages and such, all that is lost, we speak in bits and peaces, using icons to display emotions and words that haven’t even been added to any dictionary as of yet.

When I talk with my nephew I always make sure I can see him and that he is looking at me, often times he looks down or away, and misses the body language of the conversation. I try to explain the importance of looking someone in the eyes when you talk to them, but in this world of texting it seems to make no cense. I am sure he would rather just text me a reply and be done with it.

This all to often is what most teens, and now even adults would rather do. We are loosing the ability to have intimate conversations by allowing our youth to continue hiding behind there phones. As parents and care givers we have a responsibility to teach our children how to be intimate, and we do this by example, but forcing them to look at us when they talk to us, but explaining that texting does not replace face to face or voice to voice, that important things are not reduced to “OMG” (Oh my god) or other such abbreviations, and that a 🙂 does not truly equal a smile.

If we continue down this path we run the risk of living in a world of no intimacy, just a quick text and off we go. So last nights conversation was truly of no great importance except he did communicate with me, he looked at me and he smiles and responded with feeling in his voice. That is much more than a text message ever can be.

ttyl

Paul

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Emotions can help you or hinder you, it is up to you. I have often talked about how our attitudes will shape our our comes, how we can think our way in to a new you. The opposite is also true, we can think ourselves out of a new you, we can think ourselves in to the same old same old.

The power of positive thinking is only defeated by the power of negative thinking. The human mind is capable of many great things, it has the power to land a man on the moon and to start horrific wars, the same mind can do both. Our capability is only limited by our lack of imagination. Our greatness is with in us, and only our emotions keep us from achieving our goals.

The power of negative thinking can be overwhelming, and in today’s society, the negative takes the forefront, over shadowing all other emotions. We are encourage to feel the negative emotions, we are made to feel sub-human if we do not. New daily news feeds off of our fears, manufacturing crisis after crisis, our schools teach our children fear (unproven global warming science) and our government thrives off our fears grabbing ever larger portions of the privet sector.

We as a collective mind buy in to the fear, we all look for the negative emotions and try to use it to our advantage, we publically state our shock and outrage but privately we are celebrating the momentary power surge we receive. 

If we truly wish to change, to grow in to a better self we need to learn to control the negative emotions, we need to learn not to buy in to the mass hysteria that drives the masses. To so called “true feelings” of negatives need to diverted in to a positive. The task at hand is truly a monumental task, all the forces of humanity are working to control you, to scare you in to a submission, the choice is yours.

Here are some things to consider concerning negative emotions:

Anxiety and fear strips away courage and makes great performances impossible.

Doubt makes even the best decisions feel difficult and causes procrastination.

Anger rips your focus away from your goals.

Frustration can only serve to make you quit.

Guilt makes it impossible to enjoy any successes you achieve.

Jealousy and envy create dishonesty, hate and corruption. Your thoughts and emotions are the only things that can truly stop you.

 

Paul

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  1. Can I really be happy in a world that is so messed up?
  2. Can I really change in a world that expects me to act a certain way?
  3. Can I really work hard and enjoy life?
  4. Can things really be a simple as some say and as difficult as others believe?
  5. Can mind over matter really make me a better person?
  6. Can positive thing positively make me change?
  7. Can I work on change, but still be the same?
  8. Can reading self-help books and blogs really make a difference?
  9. Can one deep breath really cleanse me of all bad feelings and emotions?
  10. Can I really change?

 

The ten questions can all be answered with one word YES! Yes you can change just because you want to, in a world gone bad (and really it has not gone bad), and yes you can use mind over matter, and yes reading my blog can help…

 

Change is a state of mind; it is a condition of the heart. Nothing is beyond our reach; all we have to do is stretch ourselves…

 

Life truly is what you make of it, and I believe that with my whole being, it is my essence, and my mantra of life.

 

So start today, and make life what you want it to be, just keep in mind, that others are doing the same, so we have to allow our beingness to interact with there beingness.

 

Paul

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The next few postings will be breaking down the 10 Keys to success, this is the first: 

Key #1:  Go Past

It happened, learn from it, and move on

This is the first step for a reason, it’s the key to all of the others. We need to learn to let go of the past. We all have had bad things happen to us, yes some greater then others, but all where bad.

If we can not let the past be the past, then how do we plan of going forward? It’s a paradox we all have to deal with. We have to GO PAST the past, to move forward.

The past is like an anchor, it keeps us grounded in what was, and will not allow us to move to what is and what will be. For example, someone, in the past, may have taken money from us, or may have hurt our feelings by speaking badly of us. Yes both accounts are wrong, and yes the people involved should pay for the harm, either by returning the money, or taking back the false statements. But they should not have to pay for the same sin for years to come.

We need to learn to let go and forgive and to GO PAST the past. If we hold the grudge over this person, in the end we are the only-ones who suffer. Resentment, and hatred are both very heavy emotions to hang on to.

Have you ever seen a happy person who is resentful or full of hatred?

NO!

And you never will. The two emotions can not share the same spot in our life. We can not be a happy hateful person.

We need to GO PAST the even, to move on with our life, to bring ourselves back in to the light, the light of goodness, kindness and forgiveness. We need to reconnect to God, who does not understand hatred and resentment, he only understand forgiveness and love.

the ego (Edging God Out) needs to be left out of your life, your ego will and does keep you from forgiveness, and keeps you from GOing PAST the past, because the ego was harmed, bruised and it has a long memory. Remember that the ego (Edging God Out) is not concerned in your healing, but rather it is interested only-in it’s feelings. Nothing else matters! Remove the ego, and you will learn to GO PAST.

So start today, and pick one person you are resentful toward, and offer them your forgiveness, it matters not, if they except it… it only matters that you offered it.

Key 1 GO PAST is the key to all others, open your heart mind and soul and let this key set you free.

Paul

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